Bored, anyone.... mmmm?

So I’m currently writing this post while on a road trip to shargiyah, now before I really start please bare in mind that everyone decided Ash does not need her caffeine high and since I choose only two main ways of getting high and the other choice wud require me getting my freak on in the back seat which I am not inclined to do, point is if my usually pep is lacking I hope u’ll understand…

Now I am off to see my yummy lovely edible May, oh by the way I have to mention that her reaction to it was quite something when she finally got it in her head that I was actually coming and not suggesting I come, if you want to experience the awesome reaction I suggest pouring pepsi on those crackling candy things that come in a bag… Now seeing as I have to get a little freaky (meh understatement of the century) and May bless her heart has already given me her no touching rules which is ridiculous since she KNOWS I appreciate men too much to go there :P I is going to Bahrain and thus will more than likely get mobbed by the drunken Saudi’s, oh joy is me, so wish me luck my lovelies…

So how come I cant seem to find me a stalker….?

What I’m saying is everyone I know has a stalker, even the delectable May has a stalker, my co worker has a stalker, though hell he’s her boss, but still, I want me one of Mays stalkers, someone freakishly devilishly yummy maybe a little kookoo in the head but come on now tell me u wudnt dig the drama. Now, uh, I shud mention I wish this only cause I can handle it, cause hell I’m Ash mwahahahaha. Hmm now that I think abt it I want the challenge of it, the planning, the slow assembly of ammo, its almost like excellent foreplay… aaawww damn it may I did it again… and then

BAMMM!!!

Mwahahaha Ash wins again… “another one bites the dusts…” sing it ladies and gents…

So a stalker by my definition, is a person who simply cannot get over themselves one of those how dare you move on I am GOD!! Now listen honey, you might be yummy, you might be seriously hot, but in the end a woman needs a man, not a child. So when ur flavor of the month decides “screw you I can do better” it simply means she has a brain and if you aint used to that, well then I’m sorry u don’t have better ppl to associate with. Shaking ur tail feather wont do much either “Tom, Dick and Harry want to do me…” Seriously? Seriously! Come on back down to earth luv only thing ur doing is proving her point, so heres the brilliant part you know how u can fix this….??

YOU MOVE THE FUCK ON!!!

Swear I amaze myself sometimes, shear brilliance I tell you. Of course I have to sympathize a little there are some ppl that are jst sooooooo god damn yum!! U cant help but give it a second try just don’t beyond the 4th try… it’ll end up being embarrassing oh and one of those “duh” points I have to make, name calling wont help your case.

Well I just popped into the petrol station and they seem to have run out of Red Bull, close your ears you prus, I have this lovely thing going on with god, karma and fate and just find me so entertaining, “hmmm I wonder what wud happen if we put Ash in this situation.” Swear you gotta love ‘em

OH DAMN DAMN DAMN I just remembered I do have a stalker LMFAO hes just not doing a great job cause I keep forgetting hes there… AHAHAHAHA that’s WICKED