Sweet Anger

bye bye cold witch

2011-10-25T18:07:00.002+03:00

KACST decided Cold Witch was a little too naughty...oopsie. I suspect some nosy ass idiot decided to tattle, tsk tsk when will you understand that you cannot force people to think something is bad when its actually just a good read hmm??

Its not 3eeeeebbb till we say it is... to B or not to B ahaaah i kill me :P

2010-08-09T13:36:00.002+03:00

I remembered a little scenario that got me thinking, now when I was younger eerrm around 10 my parents brought the subject of going back to Saudi which well non of us was too keen on but they were, in they’re way trying to convince me that it was something I needed to simply accept, living in London the rest of my life wasn’t an option *sighs* Anyway I remembered my mum asking “How are you going to get married then?” and for me it seemed so simple, “I meet a guy and if I like him we get married.” Duh isn’t that how its always done, now after my mum explained the process the only thing I could say was, “You marry someone you don’t even know?!?!”

Now here me out, almost anything here that’s a little liberal is considered 3aib I know there are exceptions but still… I’m saying maybe our thinking is a little off we automatically look to the bad side of things instead of looking to its benefits. That little habit will be our undoing, we never embrace anything new!! It gets so disheartening sometimes.

Oh and regarding BB’s, I mean seriously?? LOOOOOL its literally saying oh ppl of Saudi we cannot spy on you therefore we will shut u down mwahaha. It’s funny how everyone was worried about the service being disconnecting but no one gave a second thought about invasion of privacy, god I love this country. Oh to my lovely friends who keep saying ADD @#$!% messenger before its too late I will kick ur ass’ ENOUGH seriously I have your freakin numbers now shut it already.

Sweet Dreams?

2010-05-15T14:15:00.002+03:00

Since Ash has to wake up at all hours of the night due to the latest edition of my hmm flock it apparently triggered an REM sleep concentration laymen’s terms I’m dreaming too damn much! I know it’s my brain telling to me to think about all these naughty naughty things tsk tsk that I am all too happy to occupy myself with after. Let’s see I’ve had an very lovely interaction with Robert Downey Jr. and for whatever reason I found myself downloading a few of his movies, hmm wonder why heh. Another of my dream highlights would be Hugh Laurie and suffice to say the man is a sensational kisser... The one thing that I have noticed is that my “choices” let’s say lean towards the obnoxious know it alls who don’t give a crap, yum my favourite lol

Mastermind....... its just so right

2010-05-04T15:57:00.000+03:00

INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

I Ruuuuuuule hahahaha

2010-04-27T16:55:00.001+03:00

So I walk in to my office today sit at my desk and call my boss on his extension, “Mr (lets call him Steve, I like the name Steve :P) Steve I need a moment of your time.” “Sure, ok” “Yeah umm in the meeting room ok?” nervously laughs (please note that Steve has had very bad experiences in the meeting room, demands and what not), “Yeah I’d like more privacy.” I explain. Oohh you nasty people I should mention Mr Steve is butt ugly and the meeting rooms are see through you hoes tsk tsk. A few minutes later he shows up in the meeting room and sits in front of me, “well I discussed it with my family yesterday and thought it through myself and the only conclusion I came to was this.” And I pass him a piece of paper, written and signed by me, relinquishing my position as Supervisor *dum dum dum* background music ha ha. And this his face turns a few colour and again nervously laughs with borderline crying coming into affect. “I’m shocked.” He says, ya think ya little bastard that I wouldn’t tire of you eventually. “Yeah well I can’t come into work and seeing as your UNABLE (more like unwilling you sniveling little twit) to let me take my vacation days and a month without pay, the decision is sorta outta my hands.” Mr Steve then passes the paper back and says, “This is unacceptable.” “You’d like me to change the wording?” “No no I’ll give you your vacation.” “Yes but theres only 15 days or so left (the conniving monster decided to randomly deduct my vacation days for whatever reason he pleased) so its not really gonna make a difference.” “No no you have 18 days that you can apply for starting Saturday, and then we can apply your one month no pay leave.” I can literally feel little devil horns begin to poke through, two weeks of give and take and threats and meetings with other departments in order to transfer me like unwanted garbage and the moment he sees I’ve had enough of his games a new tune comes into effect “I’m not trying to twist your hands here.” I say “Yes I know but it’d be a shame to let 3 years experienced staff leave.” “Well we can try it your way I guess, if you think it’s better.”

Damn I am just that good haha loooool a small victory for Ash ;) thought I’d share

Fun = ...... oh you gotta be kidding me

2010-01-19T14:48:00.001+03:00

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ok sorry had to let that out.

Peeeopllllle!! (yes im doing that annoying whining sound where my L’s are begging me to release them… ooh reminds me of a song, wait lemme put it on, ok that took longer then expected) Back to my whining hehe, I want a place I can just go to let loose just relax and enjoy. I want to be able to pick up the phone tell my girls where I’m going and have a bunch of them already there. Sometimes you just wanna forget everything even for just an hour or so, but do we have anything even remotely close to that?? No, we have “Come over to my house.” Or “Lets go out to eat, the foods crap but the views nice.” *faints* Noooo NO NO NO NO!!! I think we might need some serious courses on how to let loose, cause sitting on your pretty ass talking crap about some girl you don’t know is not entertaining hun. Then I have another problem, anyone who remotely knows me will know that I don’t really click with many people, and yessss mwaahaha I find that a good thing, anyways the girls I do click with are older and therefore have more obligations. AHAHAHAHA *starts crying hopelessly* so as you can imagine just getting them together is a serious challenge.

See I knew simply having minions would be a hell of a lot easier then trying to find equals, meh.

PS. If you already know that I don’t want you reading or thinking about replying to my posts then have the decency to stop of your own will (relevant to only one person)

Too Much

2009-12-11T18:40:00.002+03:00

Damn it i have too much on my plate right now!?!?!

Work is just CRAP!! im holding three peoples job with barely half a persons pay no plans for promotion or increases (bare in mind i already got screwed over last year, promises promises) though i do admit its fun being bitchy to the boss. I know he's borderline to firing me but hell go on i dare you too mwahahaha looooool come on its the only fun torture i got going.

My best friend is getting married at a time where i probably will not be able to make it!!! I mean seriously? seriously!! Ugh...

I'm getting that damn itch to move, just moooooooooove "For the love of god Ash do something!!" that would be one of the Ash's in my head yelling at me.

I miss having someone to spill everything too, and yet im too lazy to find one.

Oh and i still cant believe i've been here for 10 years and i managed to keep some of my sanity. Now that is impressive :)

Saudi ... In The News

2009-10-09T16:03:00.002+03:00

Well its been a hectic few months so I’ll try and wrap things up quickly :)

People... Regardless of age or wisdom people will always try to use you, doesn’t matter how clear you make yourself or how you present yourself, people will ignore whatever it is you have to say to eventually get what they want.

Friendships... don’t be petty, if its special hold on to it with both hands, hell argue as much as you like but we pick up the phone to speak to them wipe the slate clean after all they’re worth it and you no angel yourself. Let go of the blood suckers pleeeeaaaase, filter out the people who you know are simply there because its to their benefit socially or financially to be your friend. Its not that hard.

In the News

STC... Those bastards, get those boys in shargiyah to break their stores or something… (will get to that in a moment). Here’s the thing ladies and gents, we comply by Islamic law correct? So why are we letting an out and out theft occur? Hmm… hmm...? (yes I do have that psycho look on my face hehe)

Shargiyah Vandalism... I must say it is interesting. I was cut off from civilization at that time so I didn’t hear about it till later, however first reaction I noticed was blame, shock was there but finding who to blame came loud and clear. Well the boys who did it got a good spanking :)

Swine Flu... A few months back when this first started, I had a co worker of mine laugh sarcastically at the thought of this flu making it to Saudi “We don’t even have pigs?!?!” Well its here and its kicking our ass. However I do have to say a big part of this I blame on the carriers, let me explain, I’ve heard of too many people who had the virus and knowing so went out to closed areas packed with people, malls, gatherings, bazaars etc... or simply continued to go to work and interact with people. Stupidly reckless, if you don’t care about our well being screw you that’s your business but endangering others who might not be able to fight it off, now that pisses me off.

Suicide Bomber... Disgusting, remember people terrorism does not have a religion

Discount Cards... For people of a salary of 5k or less there’s meant to be an introduction of a Discount card of up to 80% on major supermarkets. I’m loving this idea, but unfortunately it’s not true, ah well back to be screwed over by prices.

Well I think that covers it for now, lol feel free to mention any issues that have slipped my mind.

And Thus the Witch Was Born

2009-05-13T00:09:00.001+03:00

It was twenty six years ago on this very day, a Friday, that it happened... she was born

A contradictive little bundle of joy, that did nothing to prepare the world for her deviousness mwahahaha, she was hence forth dubbed “Ash” or as some call her the devil. Her gift of pure evil delight however, did not surface at first, it was patiently waiting, growing, thriving in the green house of abstinence. Yes, yes people Ash was a typical goodie two shoes, but the intelligence grew into a weapon, the listening grew to retaining ammunition, she gained knowledge from others experiences, connected with those too complex for others to handle and slowly but surely Lucifer and the 6 Ash’s came to be...

Hehehehehe do I sound evil enough???

Boys and Girls, let us take a moment to thank god for keeping me alive for another year, this year has been well... packed with all kinds of drama :D not that im complaining. One word to describe this year... Growth, lol and those who know will know that doesn’t necessarily equals a good thing *cackles* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME lol I share the joy of being alive and well ;) for having ppl to love and miss, for having stalkers who keep me entertained, for healed wounds and lessons learnt, for being able to feel again when I thought I couldn’t anymore, shouldn’t anymore, for those who stuck around when I pushed them away, for those we left me when I wanted them to stay. I’m me because of all of you, and I like being me :) so thanx for that

MMMMWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH

Now all of you pucker up and kiss the birthday girl hahaha

Cackles

2009-04-27T01:11:00.001+03:00

Confessions 3

Strength

2009-04-20T16:50:00.001+03:00

Doesn't it kick ass when u realize that you're in control. . .

Give it a moment let it sink it

Well then again I am a control freak admittedly, but still, the power!! Mwahahaha! I know there are some who prefer to be surprised but all that life has to offer and yes that is admittedly nice, but then comes the stress of Drama blegh, so I get a nice thrill when I have the upper hand. Its not anything specific if I've lost you I just mean the overall feeling of well being, it rocks, and no it doesn’t mean I'm in control of the outcome just that the recent outcomes have all come out in my favor loool

Woohoo

Yallah enjoy my vibe. . .

I'm sorry for being human

2009-03-04T18:13:00.002+03:00

Wounded... Its where my emotions are concentrated right now. How can two people be right about one thing and still be so wrong, I've never had such bad miscommunication where it counted, where it really, really counted…

I miss my friend, or what used to be my friend, could of used that person right about now, the no nonsense grow up kinda advice lol, or maybe I don't find smart enough ppl whom I respect therefore I cant listen to their advice let alone take it. I don't need to lean on someone but I'd like the option.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

I Just annoy myself too much right now all I know is I am not a bad person I'm just apparently a complete and utter clutz!!!

Only good news, I'm off to see my lovely partner in crime manx tomorrow, fingers crossed :)

Calling all bloggers

2009-02-28T13:56:00.002+03:00

My dear fellow bloggers...

This is what you are going to do for me, you are going to get off your asses and tell other bloggers (Saudis or not) the following.

We're making a new site/aggregator

OK i know bold statement since I have no idea how to go about it but that's the point of this post, most of you are tech savvy so I need anyone whose interested to pitch in.

I know I'm gonna regret this but any ideas on the potential website are welcome so give me what you got. The basic idea is to have the following,

An Aggregator of some sort
Posts done by several member bloggers on newbies (other subjects included :P)
Some sort of discussion board
Event planner

So something like that, anyway you all let me know who is interested and who just has ideas ANY help is veeerrryyy much appreciated since the last time I did this it well obviously didn't work hehehe

New Look

2009-02-13T03:19:00.002+03:00

looooooooool its Mocha's fault

and im not changing it so hush no bad mouthing

Disbelief

2009-02-08T15:21:00.001+03:00

Several things my darling readers, I keep surprising myself in the sense that I keep getting disappointed in people, well in people I should be able to relate to and well in myself also. You see intellectually I know that are certain rules when it comes to interacting with people, yes many break them but they’re there and people know of them. So when I come across a woman whos simply trying to pray on time in what barely passes for a womens lounge and you two others stretched out on the couches listening to music and not giving a damn. You’re gonna piss me off.

Common courtesy… HA!

When you sit and discuss any subject, ANY subject there is no such thing as a WRONG opinion, your either agree or not, you can’t say “NO.” Yet I am surprised to realize that 85% of people I’ve come across are, well I won’t say stupid, I’ll say intellectually challenged. How can you not know that?! Sitting there with your street smarts, or MBA or PHD and your telling me that only your opinion counts and I will only be accepted if I agree with you!! Every human being is entitled to their own opinion, you can’t dub it as wrong unless you are the holder of that opinion. So either the 15% and I are insane which wouldn’t really shock me or the world has decided to go shit woohoo.

The only solution to this ridiculous inane loop hole of disappointment / disbelief is to simply have no expectations. Nothing.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I can’t its not in me, I know it’s the easiest solution, but then you’re not living. How can you live without hope, without wanting something, I don’t want to survive I want to live and possibly fail miserably but still to live haha!

Oh and I have to add I hate women (yes I know not all but still), and I also hate ball-less men, and for some reason I’m absolutely in love with the idea of me being a Taurus. May is officially my editor whom I rant to before posting, venomous I tell you, it’s awesome! Oh I also hate players, love the attitude though. I have this undeniable urge to party with my girls and May’s again being a hoe, I’ve decided to kidnap her. Hmm I think that about wraps it up

Palestine

2008-12-29T10:26:00.001+03:00

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing...

We are one of the wealthiest nations and yet we sit and do nothing...

I'm still in shock...
We sit and do nothing?!?! Till when? What exactly is the casualty number that is unacceptable, where we move, take action, anything god damn it but we do SOMETHING, because to me 1 is to much, one innocent soul is too much

And yet 300 are dead...

Nothing

We wait for the UN to condemn, well so what? Nations agree that this has to "halt" and then? No, I'm talking about us, Arabs, the bunch of cowards sitting afraid to do anything because we might upset our "Western Friends" and so we sit and wait for more bodies to pile up, the streets to keep running red simply because we are spineless.

Put yourself in their shoes...

Your country is being violated, your family, your people slaughtered, and you fight but it's not enough it'll never be enough, but you keep going because you have to believe it will make a difference. You have to hope or else all is lost and you give in, land of your fathers and forefathers everything that you are, were and will be. Yet you know that others sit by and watch, accepting what your eyes cannot accept. Help is there, victory is there and yet it's being withheld, it's within arms reach but not being offered, why? Fear? Self preservation? Yet people dare to sit and let this happen, can you imagine that utter helplessness? That anger? That hurt?

That pride?

All of those emotions rampaging in you, your heart gripped in a fist of emotion so hot it burns your throat, and all you want to do is scream let out that pain let out that anger!!

Shame on you, and me for letting this happen...

I Mourn myself. . .

2008-11-28T16:11:00.002+03:00

There's a darkness that's swallowing me, I sit and I cry and I'm lost and feel unloved and no ones to blame but myself. I allowed myself to die, and I tried to ignore it for so long, sometimes it catches up that black mood, but it goes, fades and I move on. Heart breaking sobs escape me, my body shudders and my precious tears run capriciously down my cheek my throat between my breasts. I've done my best to deal with life, love, living and I ended up dead, so I sit here and cry cause I killed her, I killed my innocence...

I miss that light in me, that blindness to all things dark, I miss the simplicity I felt, that unwavering sense of black and white. What have I done, she's gone and I can't bring her back, I want her back and I don't think I can, I've seen too much. So I sit in a corner and mourn myself, with no one knowing, wishing I had what I always wanted, strength, not simply my own but another's, a person willing to take my pain because I was worth it, willing to let me go weak even a little cause that strength is enough for both of us. I crave that intimacy, desperately, of allowing someone to see me cry to see me weak, to hold me while I see myself dead and cry...

But I'm still alone, so I go and wash my face, put my shield back in place before I face the world again, and wonder if the world will hate me when they know that I replaced her...

Lucifer

2008-11-05T01:15:00.002+03:00

For the past week, this teeny little image keeps popping into my head, a mini red devil yes fork and tail included that's gone freaking psycho inside my head. I have dubbed him Lucifer but I call him Lucy, and I've noticed that Lucy is ecstatic of late, which has me worried, it can mean only one thing, that I may subconsciously be up to something. Oh by the way anyone who has Mochness on their msn would have met her demented freaky kid as an icon... Lucy has the same grin, it's freaky.

Meh...

Refreshing little thought, it's always nice to be pleasantly surprised, you know to find someone who's not just intelligent as in packed with info, but actually quick, smart, all in all entertaining. Oh and change is a son of a bitch...

Ugh there too many things going on in my head to write about but the one the stands out the most is uncontrollable urge to do something anything, one of those now or never feelings. Hate it cause I'm an impatient sort anyway, so u can imagine how fidgety I am at the moment.

The Cold Witch has risen

2008-10-05T23:34:00.003+03:00

mwahahahahaha ok so i'm getting ahead of myself, but sheeeee's back

Alright so we all know, ok I know the cold witch is a kinky nymph now i do intend on writing a more depth based story but the idea of confessions came to me after i had a pow wow with May i thought of something more corny like umm dear diary but "confessions" seems more hmm kinky :D

the kinkier the better ;)

oh and again i say, if ur a little prudish or just dont enjoy sex AVOID reading it, and if u read it and go bleh will guess what ur a pru :P LOOOOL ok ok im a little hyper cause well umm its me MWAH enjoy ppl

Inspiration

2008-09-20T14:33:00.001+03:00

As some of you might know I have a sister blog Cold Witch that has fallen into a serious rut, not because I'm too lazy to write though I do admit it does frequently happen. It's more to do with not being inspired the idea of the blog itself was meant to be a bunch of sexy short stories and or boundary-less posts aka anything goes *wink wink nudge nudge* but alas my last post was tooooooo long ago to remember, I haven’t even posted the epilogue of the last story.

I know, I know I'm going through a bleh phase but I cant help it my life is a freaking roller coaster. Even if im not looking for trouble, which I do admit rarely happens, I still find myself the epicenter of all that is drama. My point is have you ever tried to read a book when ur life was much more interesting??

Anyways ppl if you guys do have any ideas of what might interest u in the sence of a story and no nothing Arabic based (or at least not too heavily) than do let me know by sending it to my e-mail

Saudi Arabia

2008-08-27T15:21:00.001+03:00

So I was googling one thing or another when I found a post about the abject horror of a reporter in Saudi who was female and was therefore not permitted to stay in the men's section of Starbucks, umm boo hoo hoo. Now what grabbed my attention wasn’t the article itself, but the comments. Apparently us clit slicing, camel shagging, oil guzzling barbarians are in need of rescue by none other then the police of the world Americans. Why? I'll tell you why, you see we don’t have brain cells otherwise why of WHY would be segregate between the sexes, why, for the love of god why?? Would we not allow women to drive? Damn it to hell and back don’t you see?!?! We are incapable of taking care of ourselves, we are moronic fools with no brain cells, we live in tents and have harems only cause we're too animalistic to do anything about it.
Had enough sarcasm??

Juuuuuust so we're clear, Saudi is not a bunch of tents stuck together with roaming camels, men in turbans singing "Allah o akbar" raping women cause its their right and having a harem of no less then 20. Oh and we don’t circumcise our women, man that’s just nasty and wrong on too many levels. Woman are not locked up at home and any who are is a matter of the family culture not the country, still with me? Good. We're not backwards you morons, we're conservative, i.e. if you want to go and mingle with the opposite sex you go to a specific place. The idea of having places segregated is that the majority of Saudi's are families, therefore no mingling required. Women driving is a no brainer its happening, you going *gasp shock horror* does nothing constructive but have you judge us. Now my more important point is, since when do you get off judging ppl, "close starbucks!! They shouldn’t support them by opening families sections" umm excuse me? I aint complaining, and I need my coffee so seriously man GET LOST I didn’t hire anyone to be my speaker.

For those of you who are still convinced we are an oppressed nation and us poor poor woman need to be taught how to fight back and if not well go ahead and fight for us, let me give you a little review of what a regular day in Riyadh is like. Now yesterday I wake up make my coffee (Nescafe Gold, if your wondering ;) get dressed put my 3abaya on (if its too horrific to think about this about it as a jacket) pick up my little angel get in my chauffeured car aka driver included, drop my girl off and go to work. By 1:30 I'm having lunch from subway with the girls, then go back to work and leave at 4:30 go home relax, take a shower, get dressed, wait for the driver to take me to the Chinese place since I invited the girls out. Get there around 9:45 and leave around 12 get home get online, check my facebook and hotmail then his the sack by 2am.

OH MY GOD WHAT HORROR HOW CAN I LIVE A LIFE SO OPPRESSED AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Oh maybe another example, hmm well after work (same routine) My mum calls and says "yallah leave work im in the car with the driver" so I leave and we go shopping, we go to the mall next to where I work get me a few shirts from "New Look" and mum from "M&S" then I grab me some cookies (mmm Bens Cookies, very yum) go home, my parents, and watch the Olympics munching on cookies and discussing why the hell the Saudi Equestrian team isn’t doing their job.
My point is, some ppl have no knowledge about what goes on in our life yet they deem it there right to judge and be almighty. We're different hell yeah, being different from what you think is right doesn’t make us bad or wrong it makes us US. Deal with it and butt out.

Bored, anyone.... mmmm?

2008-07-17T22:51:00.002+03:00

So I’m currently writing this post while on a road trip to shargiyah, now before I really start please bare in mind that everyone decided Ash does not need her caffeine high and since I choose only two main ways of getting high and the other choice wud require me getting my freak on in the back seat which I am not inclined to do, point is if my usually pep is lacking I hope u’ll understand…

Now I am off to see my yummy lovely edible May, oh by the way I have to mention that her reaction to it was quite something when she finally got it in her head that I was actually coming and not suggesting I come, if you want to experience the awesome reaction I suggest pouring pepsi on those crackling candy things that come in a bag… Now seeing as I have to get a little freaky (meh understatement of the century) and May bless her heart has already given me her no touching rules which is ridiculous since she KNOWS I appreciate men too much to go there :P I is going to Bahrain and thus will more than likely get mobbed by the drunken Saudi’s, oh joy is me, so wish me luck my lovelies…

So how come I cant seem to find me a stalker….?

What I’m saying is everyone I know has a stalker, even the delectable May has a stalker, my co worker has a stalker, though hell he’s her boss, but still, I want me one of Mays stalkers, someone freakishly devilishly yummy maybe a little kookoo in the head but come on now tell me u wudnt dig the drama. Now, uh, I shud mention I wish this only cause I can handle it, cause hell I’m Ash mwahahahaha. Hmm now that I think abt it I want the challenge of it, the planning, the slow assembly of ammo, its almost like excellent foreplay… aaawww damn it may I did it again… and then

BAMMM!!!

Mwahahaha Ash wins again… “another one bites the dusts…” sing it ladies and gents…

So a stalker by my definition, is a person who simply cannot get over themselves one of those how dare you move on I am GOD!! Now listen honey, you might be yummy, you might be seriously hot, but in the end a woman needs a man, not a child. So when ur flavor of the month decides “screw you I can do better” it simply means she has a brain and if you aint used to that, well then I’m sorry u don’t have better ppl to associate with. Shaking ur tail feather wont do much either “Tom, Dick and Harry want to do me…” Seriously? Seriously! Come on back down to earth luv only thing ur doing is proving her point, so heres the brilliant part you know how u can fix this….??

YOU MOVE THE FUCK ON!!!

Swear I amaze myself sometimes, shear brilliance I tell you. Of course I have to sympathize a little there are some ppl that are jst sooooooo god damn yum!! U cant help but give it a second try just don’t beyond the 4th try… it’ll end up being embarrassing oh and one of those “duh” points I have to make, name calling wont help your case.

Well I just popped into the petrol station and they seem to have run out of Red Bull, close your ears you prus, I have this lovely thing going on with god, karma and fate and just find me so entertaining, “hmmm I wonder what wud happen if we put Ash in this situation.” Swear you gotta love ‘em

OH DAMN DAMN DAMN I just remembered I do have a stalker LMFAO hes just not doing a great job cause I keep forgetting hes there… AHAHAHAHA that’s WICKED

The 6 Ash's

2008-05-11T13:47:00.003+03:00

It has occurred to me that although the regular sane person may have two personalities, one which is presented the other secretly hidden away and only appears to those that person trusts and to him/herself, it simply isn't that easy for me...

During one of my more deliciously enlightening conversations with May I shared my discovery of the 6 Ash's, I know the 6 says it all, but honestly 6!! Yes I'm afraid so some are more dominant then others, and some become the Alfa Ash depending on the season/ time of year.

Let me introduce you to them,

The genius... (smarts, intellect, knowledge)
The bitch... (fighter, cunning, backbone)
The prue... (morality, goodness, purity)
The evil one... (dark side, sinful, wicked)
The nymph... (sex, sex, sex)
The joker... (personality, witty, carefree)

Ah yes a lovely bunch, but honestly they do give me a serious headache when they all start yelling at the same time. Now recently the The Prue has gone into hibernation seeing as she holds the key t Ash's morals… well hell, enough said. The Evil One has umm joined forced with the The Nymph and have simply taken over the majority of Ash, only those two make an awesome combo, but lord I can barely control them.

WARNING TO ALL YUMMY MEN AVOID CROSSING PATHS WITH ME YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE IT MWAHAHAHA

See what I mean...

The Joker pops in usually as a defense mechanism, either due to denial or being hurt, so she's pretty much here all the time. I swear the woman is hilarious but unless you understand dry humor, then it wont work for you. Now The Genius, that little hoe is simply sitting there thinking she's God almighty and shaking her head at the mayhem that is my brain, that lazy fucking ass!! The Bitch is being mean to The Prue, though she has recently made an appearance it was *cackles* wicked ;) and very much needed.

Now in order to get my balance back I need The Nymph to seriously take a break, since Ash needs her sleep and the "Panadol Night" has finished. The Evil One can run a mock since well lol I enjoy her too much, The Genius needs to get off her ass and get Ash's sense back in order, arrogant bitch. As for the rest of 'em well for now they can stay as is, though I hope The Bitch doesn't kill The Prue...

See its not easy being or understanding me, but loooool its hilarious to try, honestly I loved whole idea of them, so thought I'd share...

Go on tell me your favorite personality of yours or mine ;)

Freaky, mwahahaha

2008-02-25T22:24:00.002+03:00

Freaky, Now as a person who doesn’t fit into any standard equation its only natural for me not to click with many people. You either end up being hated by ppl who think u r too opinionated but who are more or less jealous of u actually HAVING a personality (buy an opinion here haha) or u end up being stalked by wannabes who think ur language will rub off on them (don’t go there, we all know any fool can have another language) and of course the number one reason to be friends with any woman, keep an eye on the competition (woman I do not want ur man UGH!) Thus leaving me pretty much with friends who are none existent…

Now we all know that blogs in some way or other are used to vent, our boo hoo hoo’s Ha ha ha’s and yadda yadda yadda’s makes for a nice break from mundanity of our so called life *Imagines Nessy’s eye twitching* So as I was blissfully trying to forget the irony of life and along comes this little bubble of energy and giggles I like to call May (I’m also allowed to call her Mayooh!! It’s a privilege not many have) Now May is an English bred Saudi lass, still following me? In short her mother’s from Newcastle her dads a full on Saudi. Now just beneath my title Sweet Anger I have a brief into A SAUDI WOMAN TO ENGLISH TO FIT IN HER HOME CUONTRY poetic no? Maysees this and goes “No!! another halfie?” then she sees the Newcastle United link and *faints* ok not faint but kinda hears the twilight zone music going on in her head. So we eventually chat, discuss the idea of us having babies and agree on a baby with her eyes and my mouth, random info I know. The point is ppl out of all the backstabbing, two timing hoes, who sit there looking at u right in the eye and tell u they have ur back, who u fight for tooth and nail only to get let down, this little thing comes along and breaks every preconceived notion I had on friends here.

Ah yes the power of May

Yes we have silly convo’s “You’re brothers name is Ziad?” “OMG my brothers name is Ziad!!”“You have a Toshiba?” “Yeah its blue.” “OMG mines blue too”We have our odd sexy convos “you sound hot talking in Arabic.” “He he he is that right.” “Yeeaah , mash’3oola ana akalmic ba3dain, sounds hot” “you do realize I was talking to my mum right?” “HAHAHAHA.”“Did u do it?” “Mhhmm” “Was it yumm?” “Mhhmm” “YEAH! That’s my girl.” (get your minds out of the gutter people ista’3fur allah) As you can probably gather me and this woman click for odd reasons we have too many things in common and differences that compliment each other and met via a mutual umm friend LOOOOL.

You know the idealistic image of having a friend who is to the end YOUR friend, what I mean is even if u do stupid things she’s there for YOU. Doesn’t matter what u did, if u deserve it, if it was blatenly obvious it wud backfire, whatever it was she’s there cause she wants to be, not cause she has to be. I mean really, how many ppl wud go out of their just to make u feel better, pick up the phone at the oddest moments just to make sure ur alright. Message u at 4am because she said she’d call back, sit there for almost 2 hours just listening to u trying not to cry (which basically means ur crying anyway) and u can feel how mad she is because someone hurt u. In short, someone u can be YOU with someone ur allowed to feel vulnerable around, cause they’d never hurt u, someone u can tell the wildest kinkiest thing too and have her laugh and not judge.

Ok this is getting ridiculously mushy...

LOVE YA MAY mmwwwaahh!!!

Man U in Saudi

2008-01-22T09:26:00.000+03:00

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

I’m sorry I just cant stop laughing at the idea of them roaming around Faisalia (mind u I do picture them in uniform) hehehehe absolutely wicked. I’ve heard of people bribing the hotel staff to let them in on when the players arrived and what rooms they were in, though this said person bribed the four seasons not Faisalia, lol ooops. As for the match itself didn’t get to see it unfortunately BUT heard it was pretty good so woohoo at least the Saudi’s didn’t get thrashed.

On other footie news, Kevin Keegan’s back, hmmm still cant get over when he practically ran from Tyne side last time, but well if he’s still as good as he was then FOR GODS SAKE GET US A F*****G CUP ALREADY

Unrelated input, will someone put Britney Spears down or something, stop the woman from spawning can u imagine the genes she’s passing along!! Honestly the woman is trying to get pregnant to hmmm buffer the pain of losing the two she already has, and what’s this abt her wanting to convert loooooooooool mmhhmmm plus the guy she’s with isn’t yummy at all. Still I do feel sorry for the thing, I don’t see a way out for her so u can imagine what she’s feeling…

I’ve recently had this inane ability to picture men without their pants, it’s very distracting, obviously its selective to ppl who seem yummy. Still it worries me *sighs* I’m guessing Ash needs a little something something *wink wink* if men think of sex every 12 seconds well lets just say I need help

Good luck to the students I know who have exams!!

Question ppl, u think I cud conquer the US??

Hectic

2008-01-06T15:37:00.001+03:00

The title says it all really, in the never ending drama that is well hmm my life, and no you little gossip monsters u wont get any details here…

Lets see I was lets say mortally wounded by words from a friend recently, it was one of those “why do I keep putting myself in that position” sort of scenarios. I do think friends are worth putting up with, but when they keep pounding on you u eventually want to give up, and I honestly thought I did in this case. I didn’t like it, it scared me I wanted to keep fighting for them but I was bleeding too much so I took a couple of hundred steps back loool. What did surprise me was that said friend made an effort, you have no idea how happy that made me, that simple gesture meant so much and not to make a big deal out of it I knew how much it cost that person to do it, so yeah it meant A LOT… I guess it kinda reaffirmed that yeah some friends u need to keep fighting for, and this ones worth it.

I felt like slapping too many people recently, including my slutty hoe who is pretending to be independent of me *sighs*

Question people, why are sooooo many girls in this countries and becoming slutty at such a young age. A website, cant remember the name, is basically dedicated to bringing teenage girls 15+ with basically nothing on (not here underwear) and covering only there faces. I mean seriously girls, congrats on the fab bod but are u that desperate for attention?? So u get a few dicks hard then what?? Don’t get me wrong getting attention is a sort of high but wwwaaahahahahaaaayyy wrong way of going abt it. Put it this way what makes u different from the next pick hmm? And where the hell are their parents, I don’t mean checking their laptops but these children are screaming for attention!! That’s it I’m having no more kids…

Saudi Aggregator is dead and though I would love to get my hands on it and fix it Ahmed aka the one and only Saudi Jeans isn’t responding to anyone so on a last ditch attempt AHMED GIVE ME THE PASSWORD TO IT!!!!

Met up with Nessy a while back lovely gal, I’ll tell u this the woman has an array of subject to talk about and THEY’RE ACTUALLY INTERESTING too many girls are well just that, no depth really. We need more people like Nessy really, and me of course.

My Soul Mate (love you may) has been a serious sounding board for me and putting up with THAT is an achievement. Not wanting to sound too mushy but I have no idea how on earth I made due without u…

Oh one more question, where have all the bloggers gone, Fedo has gone bye bye, Jo has hers on archive, new blogs that pop up I have no idea what they are cause as previously stated Aggregator is dead. Really people don’t try and tell me u got nothing to talk abt??

One more thing, ppl of Saudi your being screwed out of ur money and ur so GOD DAMN LAZY your not even complaining or making noise. Its bad enough our schools suck, our Universities aren’t even accepted as real education, salaries are crap unless ur related to the royal family, the cities, the buildings, the roads, our services are f*****d up!!! Now the little ppl are getting there money sucked into the pockets of company heads, because hell everything’s more expensive to produce. See this is what ignorance does ppl, it makes u vulnerable, this attitude we have of let someone else handle it is now officially screwing us over

Rapists of the world gather in the haven that is Saudi

2007-11-25T09:00:00.000+03:00

Damn where to start...? A woman gets raped 14 times, not just A woman an 18 year old girl, the animals that did that get no more then a max of 9 years in prison...

And yet, our blessed courts decided "lets lash her a little, cause hell the woman only got laid, she cant have fun and get away with that, what if our daughters start mimicking her actions, the chaos!?!?" but wait why not jail her too, aaww come on she's only a woman its not like anyone will do or say anything.

As a woman, this disgusts me, it angers me to the point where I would love to cut off every male chauvinistic Saudi dick and stuff it up their asses (probably would like it though) and now they (government) defend the courts by saying "we don’t wanna do this but she was having an affair, while she was married" for those who don’t know you need to have at least 3 witnesses before anyone gets cast guilty AND I don’t see them sentencing her to a stoning though its not far off. Why? Cause she WASN'T married, plus this nonsense of FINDING HER CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR. I’m sorry WHO found the clothes, wasn’t she kidnapped?? What they’re taking the word of the kidnappers??

People they have completely side tracked the problem, 7 men raped a woman and a man and were bragging about it. Some of the men themselves were married, why aren’t they making a big deal out of that hmm? Isn’t death the penalty for sodomy? If they’re gonna throw the book at the woman why not the men?!?!?! It Sexist, its biased, its unacceptable, its fucking ridiculous and I cant believe anyone has the gall to defend it. I’ve already posted about this incident a while back but this just DISGUSTS me. I am absolutely ashamed to have to call any of these idiots/animals (The rapists, judge, and those demented enough to agree) my country folk.

I’LL TELL YOU THIS, ISLAM NEVER NEVER NEVER APPROVED OF WOMEN BEING EVER TREATED AS SECOND CLASS CITIZENS LET ALONE LIKE ANIMALS (hell even animals have rights)

A link to the story via CNN
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/11/24/saudi.rape/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

The Evil that lies within…

2007-10-28T05:30:00.000+03:00

How do u know if you're evil or not? Actually more importantly what is evil? Well I assume people would say a person who wishes bad things onto others, but what if that person some sort of evil maniacal genius who u might ever so slightly envy DESERVED ill wishes?? Does that make me a bad person for wanting some sort of justice some sort of evolutionary balance? *tucks tail back into panties* It just doesn’t click for me, I mean really we are human blissfully flawed so me feeling a little cackle when something goes wrong for someone I have no affection for… That’s not so bad is it *forcefully pushes horns back into head*

How about if u tease for the sake of teasing, taunting eh being a little playful *bats eyelashes* nothing wrong with that is there, makes life a little more fun.

To everyone I hear booing, oh hush u prudes

Thing is people that little devil inside u that u try to put aside will get u in a shit load of trouble but my god is he wicked or what loooooool. As for me personally I like my little evilness within not that it shows up often, mainly when survival instincts kick in or when I just wanna go wild. But it is there, kinda lurking kinda sneaky like knock out gas you can feel it cold in ur vein, *sighs* and u do have to hold it back cause u know it might consume u. I do believe we simply thrive on drama.

Evil, Mysterious, Complicated

Uh just WICKED

Ash the Nymph

2007-09-30T14:04:00.000+03:00

Bare with me a sec,
If a woman constantly thinks of sex or is relentlessly aroused, does that make her a nymph and if so why the hell is that supposed to be an insult ?? The idea of being a nympho so to speak is quickly associated with slutty behavior why because a nympho by definition is a “a woman with abnormal sexual desires” thus slutty after all what woman would actually want to get laid hhmm ???

*slaps everyone who just nodded*

ugh when will you learn, alright heres the thing Nymph is not an insult I mean really a woman who has a healthy appetite, whats wrong with that?? Nothing… Actually more people should appreciate sex, it’s a lovely yummy thing mmmm and if your shaking your head than honey you’re not doing it right.

Alright, seeing as men are allowed to marry more than one woman especially if he’s not being sexually satisfied by just the one then why not us. So I like the idea of me having a harem too much but that’s me liking men too much, seriously I mean really why not, it’d be sooo cool and wicked and slightly evil but sooo much fun :) *sighs* wishful thinking I only want three ok probably more but three would do well for a start.
Oh people let me know exactly what your definition of Nymph is, now, now don’t go shy on me I want honesty

had to add this, and no this is not me bragging

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

loooooooooool the hell its not

Eh...?

2007-09-16T14:17:00.000+03:00

Well its been hmm disgustingly hectic for moi as of late, and na uh not going into details…

Well work is ugh… work, damn it

Ista’3fur allah forgot I was fasting… no swearing or cursing :)

Ok tid bits of info, and no complaining, Jojo has pretty much learnt every advert every song and even themes by heart and sings them on command. People , my child sings “aah ya s3oodi” : and every *** ***** bratz song aaaahhhhh

Sunday as in the 23rd means no work due to our national day, ah you gotta love the king, ok is it just me or does anyone else get pissed that some ATM’s do not give you the new looking currency… eh, just me then…

I need a toy… bare with me, I need a toy as in a person I can play with, I swear I wont break it but I need entertainment NOW!!! *sighs* hmm I also need a car but that’s not here no there.

Oh yeah there are vacancies in my harem, woohoo ok fresh meat and please you have to be at 21+ (mwahahahaha) any younger and I just feel icky

Vacation in hmm 25 days yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay I need to breathe leave Rio for a week or so and just breathe aaaahhhh bliss, oh yeah me going to London this year is shot to hell actually me going to London any time soon is shot to hell DAMN IT!!

Ok enough rambling….
Oh yeah I think I should start writing more fiction on my other blog I think its lonely…

Bored.......

2007-08-05T15:28:00.000+03:00

Alright so i've reached a point of boredom where i will do ANYTHING just to get out of this rutt, so i ask u ehehehehe my lovlies to give me a few suggestions...

Now i wud like to point out that the crazier the better, give me any suggestion as to what to do in order to have fun in this god for saken country....... i say that with love of course

shout out to my girl nessy who finished Uni woohoo and my very lovely darling May who shud come see me hmmm mid August MWAH!!

Pain...

2007-06-11T17:40:00.000+03:00

I wish i didnt care...

Lord do i wish it was possible, to go through life without caring abt others, to just be self centered and egotistical, it truely would be a gift...

yeah i'm in one of those moods... so heads up

So i sit here knowing without a doubt that i will never actually be happy... maybe content or ok for a few days but to actually be happy?? No its not written for me, i dont know if i want to keep looking for it cause i just end up flat on my ass again either bruised or broken. Thats actually not so bad but whats got to the point of tears (not crying cause that would be a hell of a lot easier, but just when u cannot stop the tears falling) no one really cares or appreciates me, and its not a pity thing, i know i deserve a hell of a lot more, but i wont find anyone who does. By words by action by emotion... i'm never going to find that person and that on its own makes me feel so incredibly lonely that my throat constricts and i know thats it for me. This is as good as its gonna get for me...

i dont want to care...
i dont want to need people to care either...

and still its those very ppl who will hurt u and then say its for ur own good, i know whats in store for me so i want to be able to do everything i can while i can. still ppl act like they know better abt u then urself, no one ever actually asks anymore they just assume. Whats worse is sometimes u'll try to reach out to them ask them to understand u to be able to be urself around them. only thing u get is people stepping back from u because, low and behold, they're protecting u from u. people cage u in by expectations by standards by unwritten rules, people who are supposed to be there for u unconditionally.

I dont want to be sad, unhappy, confused or lost and the only way i can do that is to be alone

is it so bad to just care for me a little, just a little...

One step forward, two steps back

2007-05-24T13:39:00.001+03:00

Lets see if we can fit this in one post,

I really do feel sorry for gullible people not in a "pity me" sorta way, more like they are so innocent you cant really blame them for misinterpreting things. So when a person comes to me believing a rumour that they heard from a pretty reliable source I cant really blame them, hell I'd probably do the same thing difference is, I give friends the benefit of the doubt. My point here is I don’t like defending myself to people who are willing to believe anything, because simply if you don’t know me well enough to at least be comfortable in regards to asking me? then we have serious issues here. Trust is a deal breaker for me period. People who gossip and do the whole drama thing… really doesn’t work for me, but we're all human so cant really be too mad at 'em but never NEVER expect me to defend myself cause honestly only a person whose not worth ur time will put u in a position like that. LOL could be wrong let me know ur opinion

Onto other news, its apparently fashionable to be racist again *sighs* when will you people learn, your not better then anyone by being white, your not better then anyone by being Saudi, your not better then anyone period (ahem except me of course I'm better then u all mwahahaha kidding) whats worse is that people think of it as the norm, it isn’t and ur only making it worse by believing so. Now, whatever happened to manners? Have people simply stopped teaching there kids that, cause there seems to be a HUGE void, hmm let me think of an example, oohh this pissed me off not sure if it counts. My hubby and I pulled over on ta7lia street to get some coffee to go, so he parks behind a set of cars who've already taken up the spaces and goes into the place. Seconds later this huge ass screech bursts my ear drums, low and behold a patrol car behind our car is going on and on and on about getting off the road and he just wont shut up. Thing is it’s a weekday, the roads aren’t crowded the other two lanes and practically empty and there are NO PARKING SPACES FREE PEIOD. But of course no, he wants everyone to move right now life or death situation I'm presuming :P My husband comes out to move the car, since he was blocking a car that was leaving, the patrolman insists that he leaves, not park in the now empty space, not get his already paid for coffee and leave, to just LEAVE. I mean come on people what the hell ?!?!

Lets see, work… My boss is being an absolute bastard, aaaahhhh wastes time by having 3 people check and then redo my work FROM SCRATCH why? Cause he doesn’t trust me, which is fine I'm new BUT WHY THREE PEOPLE and then he disregards all the reports and does it himself aaaaahhhh ANNOYING, hope to god they separate the women in the new building so I don’t have to deal with him in my face for 9 hours everyday, though I will miss my eye candy *sighs* ah well.

That pretty much wraps it all up, sorry I haven’t been updating absolutely nooooooo time

Round Up

2007-04-13T12:08:00.000+03:00

Alright quick round up of what's been happening, I busted my bro's ass for giving my husband the dirty version of Akons song with Snoop. Don’t give me that look I have my reasons, who in their right mind uses it to the set the mood yeah, no, uh uh, not me but the hubby thinks it’s a damn good idea…

I busted my head last week and have been unable to sleep without sedatives since, yep it freaking me out I could be a walking zombie *cries hysterically* ahem just to clarify this is what happened…
Was sitting down with the rest of my family, yeah witnesses lovely, when I got up to take JoJo away from her dad since she was bugging the hell out of him. JoJo decided to play lets piss mummy off and threw herself onto the ground, so since I was crouched I got up, with the impetuous of an angry mum and smacked right into the corner of the open window. Now only two messages got to my brain

Damn that’s not good
Son of BITCH that hurts

Instincts had me pressing against the cut, and the hubby was like "let me see, let me see" I mean come on!! We both know it aint pretty so why go there? Now as I was hopping from one foot to the other tears running (I wasn’t crying it was just that painful) looking at my bloodied hands and thinking "damn it now I need stitches" my mum walks in, :D starts putting all this antiseptic god knows what on my head that turned out to be expired eh ah well. Now just incase I went to a near by clinic and had one of the nurses look at it, clean it, blah blah. Oh yeah I really don’t have any sensitivity to antiseptics on open skin, I feel nothing, its brilliant. I'm thinking it’s a side effect of the operation I had a while back, yeah it wasn’t pretty and involved cleaning open wounds and stuffing it, yeah it was just nasty…

In other news I'd like to say that by working I have discovered and been subjected to the shallowest, lowest, backstabbing human beings to ever roam the earth. It is actually quite ridiculous and childish but blegh as long as I don’t mingle with them then that’s fine. I still think I should have been a god damn palaeontologist but noooo…

Oh one more thing biiiiiig shout out to my lovely slutty bimbo, mmwwwaaa777 I still don’t understand how you could possibly do well in ur exams with that head of yours mashallah but keep up the good work.
Oh oh oh, I don’t blog for a month and all these new blogs pop up, damn it I cant keep up ugh…

OMG i have no funky title!!!

2007-03-29T15:03:00.000+03:00

Let me start off by saying

Aaaaawwwwwwww I missed y'all

Ok lets get down to business, first two weeks of work were HELL!! Why? Well I didn't get to see Jojo as much, I had to drop her off every night at my parents house as if I didn't want my own baby, and sneak off so she doesn't see me. How do you explain to a baby who's not even two why you have to leaver her? *sighs* plans of grandeur? Anyway two weeks of getting choked up when I get home and the same in the morning does get to you and I had plans of quitting my job as soon as I could BUT I swore I'd stick it through especially after the Mamlaka Schools fiasco. Then it came...

PAY DAY!!!

(limo and roses on the way D)

Now, I haven't actually experience the whole work and get paid thing, I mean as a kid ur dad would get u stuff, when u get to college and they give you that damn 850 or Thou they suck the living fun out of it, ppl pay attention I'm talking college i.e. line up and wait for your money i.e. Get squished as ppl through themselves at the windows, I mean come on, can u get any more demeaning?!?! Just so you know, they finally discovered that writing cheques is easier, and obviously Uni discovered ATM's ages ago. Back to what I was saying, then ya get married the hubby pays for all so essentially you live your life without the experience, so I say this to all the ladies...

IT ROCKS!!!

Seriously get off your asses and go, you have to try it, it feels... delightfully invigorating

Other tid bits, hmmm...... oooohhh went out with my sis LoLo yesterday to Starbucks (at 11pm hehehe), bored as hell so though eh why not? Plus no ONE was out and about aahhh I love Rio when its empty. So my sis and I had one of those "wisdom craziness and bitchiness talks" they come along every so often. Anyhow as I was leaving I grabbed a lollipop for Jojo and then the cashier, who was Saudi, was saying something that honestly I didn't understand. Now a habit of mine is to not ask a person to repeat themselves instead I just smile do a double bat (I just recently noticed it, don’t judge) and nod. So seeing as I didn't know what the hell he was saying or smiling about I did the same old thing and walked out. Later my sis informs me the guy was trying to flirt, yeah now someone try to convince me he didn't see the wedding ring :

Hmm what else, ooohhh I was brain dead last night, it was wicked, I remember something about crabs or lobsters hell I dunno and something important I need to remember that wont come to me. Oh yeah to a certain "Clyde" who wanted to rob the bank blind, I don't have access to the money soooo plan B?? And for some reason I want to get lost in Brazil, I mean seriously rough it in the jungle, would sooo end up dead but hell a girl can dream.

Oh yeah and RIO!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FREAKIN' TEMPLATE!?!?

I work hard for the money

2007-03-03T20:43:00.001+03:00

Ok first of all I'm sooooo freakin' sleepy..........ugh

Alright so I got there almost a half hour early then EVEYRONE else, which is why I had to wait for someone to open the doors for me since I was new and had no ID card thingy. They practically gave me nothing to do but read and of course I remember nothing since I was half asleep anyway, hmm I'm pretty sure I'm in charge of something but hell if I remember what it is. Oh yeah my butt got numb from sitting so long doing nothing, then when they did give me something the damn chair hurt my back cause it was busted, I had to use a laptop instead of the regular comps cause again ID number thingy. I'm pretty sure I'm hated by at least one person since I'm essentially taking their job....what.... it's not like I asked them to do it. My boss is to shy to speak to me, I'm sure that'll change soon enough but it feels weird him talking around me... "Ask her how her first day was?" I mean really I wont bite : hmm what else, oh yeah by the time I got home my husband kinda looked at me and said, "Ash you've got no colour on you." Which translated means, "Ash you're so pale your bags look darker then they usually do." And boy does he have a point, my bro is kinda going "Look at my sis woohoo!!" cause I work in the same building as him, no idea why though. I heard a British accent and I nearly wept in joy, some Pakistani Brit, he was yum but hey... I'm married thus blind right :P what else what else, ummm yeah I need to go to the freakin head office to get my ID and open and account I mean really I work at a bank cant I just do it there ?? OOHHH yeah I nearly fell off my chair cause I fell asleep LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL not to worry no one saw me hehehehe. Anyways I'm off wish me luck people I've got a three month probation period, lets hope they think I'm good enough to stick around for longer.

Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story

2007-02-24T23:36:00.000+03:00

Check this out…

Mix in Islam, Saudi, Money, Britian, Racism and what do u get?!?! A press frenzy!! Have you ever just browsed through the net then stopped browsing looked at the screen and went “huh?” followed by a “That’s a damn lie!!!” let me explain…

The King Fahad Academy is a Saudi funded school that teaches the British curriculum and the Saudi curriculum (not as in depth, but it suffices) there are other schools all over e.g. ISU in Washington. It was initially established to offer both educations to Saudi diplomat’s children and then expanded to include Arabs and Muslims. Now my lovely school, which I left in 99 after 12 years of studying there, has been under attack in the press because…hmm well there is no one reason really. It started when a teacher Colin Cook, who taught my brother btw :P decided to take legal actions against my school after being dismissed in 2005. Honestly I don’t really care if he wins or not he feels he was unlawfully dismissed that’s his problem and he has to deal with it, BUT to drag my schools name through the mud?!?! This is what happened…

Islamic school poisons students
Apparently the school spends all its time teaching us that Jews and Christians are pigs and monkey and are favorite question is… “What other awful characteristics do they have?” That we are brainwashed into becoming racist against anything that is not Saudi or Arabic, so you can see how I would take this personally seeing as being a KFAer I therefore am a racist.

Books
A book, which the teacher had translated for his case, stated that Jews and Christians are swine’s and apes and that students had been taught this. That the books are a reflection of Islamic views and Saudi wahhabism seeing as they are part of the Saudi curriculum. Well this is all new to me the only thing we learnt there was ABOUT Islam not lessons on how to disrespect others, but hell maybe I was absent that day?

No child within the King Fahad Academy has ever been taught that Jews and
Christians are pigs and monkeys.

This footnote has been misinterpreted. It is attached to a story that
pre-dates Islam which in essence says that ‘those who transgress on the Sabbath’
will be punished by God.

The Quran should be updated
Umm ok please, please, please get this through your head and let it stick there, THERE IS NO EXPERATION DATE ON THE QURAN!!! You see seeing as some higher being (being saracastic here) decided to translate the Quran as he sees fit there has been comment after comment deciding that the Quran needs to be updated to fit the 21st century.

Religious Studies
KFA has NEVER claimed to teach religious studies, it teaches Islamic studies only, you don’t like it GO TO ANOTHER SCHOOL.

Tit for Tat
Some ignorant British woman (who lives in the middle east) claimed that since we force foreigners to abide by the Saudi curriculum here, then Saudi’s in the UK should abide by the British curriculum. I’m thinking the woman was high when she commented, but let me explain anyway. KFA teaches BOTH and focuses on the British and as for the American’s and Brits being taught the SC here, you’ve got to be kidding right?!?!

So lets see because of this teacher we’ve had attacks on our morals, on our beliefs, on the validity of the Quran, on Muslims in the UK, on harboring terrorists, on Saudi education (ding!! ding!! ding!! ding!! We’re changing that anyway DUH) oh yeah on graduating by cheating (they failed to mention its in reference to the last couple of years and not all graduates), and lord knows what else. So who’s getting harmed? Well think about it, would you hire someone who graduated from a hate oriented school? When your reply to the question “What school did you go to?” is “KFA” and the response is “Oh that racist school?” wouldn’t you get pissed off? When students get verbally abused and parent physically so, wouldn’t you want to do something about it? Yet I see no outrage, from KFAers yes but what about the rest? the Saudi embassy? ISU? Our former school heads? Dr. Ibtisam? Dr. Qusaibi? And so many others who are simply allowing the press to steamroll us.

Just so you know the school has been investigated and cleared but of course the press hasn’t made a meal out of that fact. Ah well dont let the truth get in the way of a good story…

for more info visit this, this and this

I am the resistaaaaaaance!!

2007-02-11T04:04:00.000+03:00

This post is dedicated to Mocha....

I AAAMMM THE RESISTANCE

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You see blogger has decided to force people into turning beta (stop smiling taq) and since I have vowed to be the last blogger to turn (no zee, nasty minded hybrid) to turn beta that is, I may dispense with posts just to spite them. You see in order to view comments, edit posts or post new ones u must turn BETA, and no I will not, it is a matter of principle

I WILL NOT BE FORCED TO DO ANYTHING!!!

DOWN WITH DICTATORSHIPS... ONWARD FREEEEEDOOOOOOM

Hehehehe yes this is me lucid, well fairly lucid

Idiocy that ceases to amaze me...

2007-02-03T22:16:00.000+03:00

I'm a pretty average person, not too complex a little extra something here and there that give me a personality, but over all I think I'm pretty well balanced, a little naive yeah I'll admit to that especially when I assume people have a fucking brain that functions...

Lets see hmm I want to try something out bare with me and answer honestly...

I Ash here by state that I am veggie aka a non tribal aka 110

Alright, now remember ur response to that...

I Ash here by state that I am of tribe aka with roots aka 220

Still with me?? I'll get back to this later...

Definition,
Racism = prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races // The belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior

"I am a Muslim and... my religion makes me against all forms of racism." Malcolm
X Speech, Prospects for Freedom 1965

Now, I'm guessing this is a taboo subject right? No? Doesn't matter I'm posting it. For those who have no clue what I'm talking about and yes I would be one of you a few years back, there seems to be a social rift in this lovely society. The Demi-gods who can do no wrong and are above reproach and regular regulations (Those of tribes) and the Arab Vikings who rape pillage and are slowly infesting society with their corruptness and lack of morals (Those of none). "Could this be??" you ask? Well actually no but there are a select bunch of messed up idiots who believe so. "In a land where racism does not exist??" you'd think so wouldn't you? Ah but alas though we know it to be wrong we do. As you would expect there are the extremist of the tribals who would rather be caught dead then be associated in ANY way with a non-tribal and the extremists of the non-tribals who simply detest tribals for being what they themselves cannot be. Damn I cant feel the love no more...

So lets clarify...

People would have you believe that non-tribals are lesser beings here in Saudi, actually let me quote some asshole from Jeddah

يريدون الدخول في المجتمع السعودي والتغلغل فيه لان بناتهم وعيالهم ما احد يتزوجهم لانهم صايعين ومن غير اصل

They (the non-tribal) want to enter the Saudi community and infest unto it because no one will marry their daughters and sons because they are immoral and with no origin

Jee racist much?...
You see the assumption is made that the non-tribal are a bunch of heathens who will eventually corrupt and/or destroy Saudi society simply because they do not belong. Here's the thing, non-tribals are regular people with job's, families and yes morals, it may come as a surprise to you but a large percentage have roots. The only difference, they choose not to abide by archaic rules that have no bearing on how well a suitor or a person is. Some simply don't track their family tree and leave it at that, others find it ridiculous that they must divorce and break up families in order to marry into the right social sale. My point is, people need to stop assuming things about others, and NO ONE is superior to any other being and especially not because of what roots he/she has. For Gods sake non-tribals aren't the boogie man, come to dilute your thoroughbred blood!!

Non-tribals with issues...
It really does become pathetic at this point, you have people who will falsify roots, sometimes names in order to fit in. This is where pity kicks in, the need to be acceptable is human but come on!!! That's just taking it a bit too far, what the hell is wrong with being who you are? Exactly what's shameful about that? Don't you honestly think we're taking peer pressure a bit too far, people are paying millions to falsify records and for what? To feel like you belong LMFAO someone seriously needs to look up the word self-esteem. One of the first things you learn as a Muslim is equality, and yet here of all places we see distinct boundaries being laid and assumptions being accepted blindly.

We are teaching children and ourselves to distinguish between two sets of people who are equal, we're teaching them to BE racist on the bases of something that is of no ones control. Some people are so into this shit they would have you believe that there is a separate heaven for them, hmm must of lost that copy of the Qur'an then, must have been the same copy that mentioned only those of equal tribes to marry. People this is ridiculous, a person can marry whom they please, but don't use roots as an excuse. No one is better then the other, we should be learning to be better not walking backwards to a time when we were simply ignorant.

So to those of you who agree with our ignorant 7igazi, go to the corner and shoot yourself in the head, you're only infesting people with your mental disease...

To those who think they are better then anyone else because they were born into a family with history and roots in Arabia, get a life... no seriously get your own life.

To those who believe they have a right to lie because it's the only way to be accepted, wake up!! A better tolerant generation is taking over.

To those who simply think this whole thing is ridiculous like myself, kudos to you.

On a personal note, I don't care who or what you are, if I like you or respect you its because of you and nothing else, not your family name or lack of it. Half the time I forget people's last name anyway, I've luckily never met an extremist on either side and hadn't heard of this whole issue till after living over a year in Saudi. As for the statements above, I want you to tell me honestly what you thought of the first then the second... I want you to open the comment link tell me what you thought with brute honesty.

Drum roll please...

2007-01-31T01:34:00.000+03:00

I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

GOT THE JOB!!!!

woohooo!! and so, operation get Ash off her sweet tush is in play

whoop whoop!! thats right i'm dancing yaaaaaay, only downside is not being with Jojo so much but still yaaaaaaaay... I expect congrat's ppl yallah show me u love me :D

War!! what is it good for...

2007-01-23T03:51:00.000+03:00

I was asleep, you know the whole leg dangling over the side of the bed, drool warming my pillow, bangs deciding to forgo the laws of gravity and stand on end and Jojo kicking my ribs, when I hear this god awful noise. So my eyes pop open and my brains trying to focus on this huge rumbling screeching thing, then it hits me...

OH MY GOD THE IRANIANS ARE TRYING TO KILL US!!

So I lay there, still, waiting for something to happen, having been satisfied that the ceiling was not going to crush me and no tremors, thus no need to check on the hubby, I go back to sleep, well at least I tried. Again, the noise comes back, and people it is freaky cause u can hear it coming right at you, and its not the regular fighter planes you can sometimes hear. These are HUGE ass noises, so my brain, lovely thing it is too, suddenly decides that there can be only one explanation...

CRAP!! THE AMERICANS ARE USING RIO SKIES AS FIELD PRACTICE!!

You see, at first the sound was far too close and strong to be planes/jets/whatever therefore they must have been rockets. Then, since there was no explosion, they had to be some sort of plane/jet/whatever. Plus they must have been American since I've NEVER heard anything like it in Saudi before and therefore they couldn't possibly be ours?!?!

Hmm, wonder what I'd have done if I was here during the 90's gulf war :

Oh and I have to mention this to all the college and Uni students going through their exams... My lovely sis Lolo, had just finished an exam, half asleep and drunk on fatigue she entered the elevator and the door was slowly closing before she said...

"La76'a, la76'a la tsakir" which essentially means, wait, wait don't close.

Ahem, she was talking TO the doors :S

P.M.S Auction

2007-01-18T07:51:00.000+03:00

Previous auction Sold

Lolo: "Ladies and gentlemen welcome back to the second semi annual... umm Ash? What the hell is this thing called?"

Ash: (pressing a cold compress over her eyes leaning back in a chair) "Sh sh sh I'm not even here."

Lolo: (waits patiently then gets up from chair and flicks Ash's forehead) "Pay attention."

Ash: (throws compress on the floor and glares at Lolo) "You have a death wish woman?!?!"

Lolo: (hands Ash frappaccino)

Ash: (whimpers) "Oh my god I love you."

Lolo: "Now, what the hell is this thing called?"

Ash: "How to demean yourself in one easy step"

Lolo: "Ash..."

Ash: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to our second semi annual Peddling of Mates in Saudi, or what we lovingly dub PMS..."

Lolo: "Woman that's just nasty"

Ash: "You asked for it. As it so happens today is ladies night, that's right a lovely gathering of ladies young and old..."

Lolo: "Extinct."

Ash: "Have come to see our selection of males, that's right, men. The auction itself will begin momentarily just as soon as...

Lolo: "I really should be down there, poor things must be so nervous."

Ash: "Jee I didn't know you cared so much."

Lolo: "I don't but someone might have fallen on their tush and need a kiss to make it better."

Ash: "Oddly enough I don't know if I should be horrified or proud, lets take a look at our guests."

Lolo: "Oh...My...God!"

Ash: "It cant be."

Lolo: "It is."

Lolo & Ash: "The brides of Frankenstein."

Ash: "To all our viewers who are going "huh?" The brides are a couple of skinny assed girls who are actually 5"2 but look 5"7 due to the fact that the hair is puffed up to the point where it defies logic by not leaning to one side."

Lolo: "I am telling you, there is a sock in there."

Ash: "Wonder what they look like on a bad hair day?"

Lolo: (chuckles) "Evil. Front row has been overtaken by the Bimbo Quartet, and they are apparently here to actually bid."

Ash: "Aren't they 18?"

Lolo: "Yep, I'm guessing it's the, marry young divorce and have fun thing."

Ash: "OH, OH, OH,"

Lolo: "I told you to take it easy or you'll get brain freeze."

Ash: "No, look who just walked in, Ancient Head Mistress!!"

Lolo: "You don't think..."

Ash: "I don't even want to think about it. (puts on sunglasses) There's 1000Watt smile...

Lolo:" You know Ash you really should..."

Ash: "You are not taking my Chanel's."

Lolo: "They're old."

Ash: "Antique."

Lolo: "They look better on me."

Ash: "Drop it. (screams) Aaaaahhhhh she's here, oh YAY!! Now this is going to be sooooo much fun."

Lolo: "Whose here? What? You mean that pretty one in the second row?"

Ash: "Yep, she's Um al Duwayce, she's my idol."

Lolo: "Ok I'm not even going to ask."

(The auctioneer comes out onto the stage)

Lolo: "Alright i'll bite, Ash? You're not a lesbian are you?"

Ash: "Tsk, tsk woman. Alright first item..."

Lolo: "Victim"

Ash: "The Emotional Retard, his skills are as follows, knowing nothing of the female psyche, selfishness, an inept skill at dragging people through the muck with him just so he can step on them, leave the muck of his doing and ditching them leaving them to clean up the mess..."

Lolo: "Tell it as it is girl."

Ash: "Say hallelujah and I will slap you. His hobbies include, treachery, evilnessnessness AND a certainty of causing heartache."

Lolo: "Why would any woman want that."

Ash: "Cause woman want what's bad for them. Alright their bringing him out..."

Lolo & Ash: "Ohhh."

Ash: (hands Lolo a tissue) stop drooling. Bidding has started at the minimum 30,000."

Lolo: "Eeewweee, the Ancient head mistress put in a bid of 50,000 god that's just wrong."

Ash: "The Bimbo's aren't bidding, I'm guessing their holding out for the Stud."

Auctioneer: "Going once for 50,000. Twice..."

Um al Duwayce: "80,000."

Ash: "YES!!!!"

Lolo: "Why are you so happy? Who the hell is that woman?"

Ash: "She's a succubus (grins) She loves to chop off men's heads."

Lolo: "No way."

Ash: "Way, and not the one on their shoulders either, she's got this trick where she (whispers the rest in Lolo's ear)"

Lolo: "Oh my God she's got WHAT down there?"

Ash: "Teeth. Shush they're bringing out the next guy, the Socially Handicapped Genius, lets see he's a..."

Lolo: "Wait look at that, he's blushing, aaawwww."

Ash: "Bids have started and it seems that 1000Watt Smile is in the game to win, she just out bid the Frankenstein Brides."

Lolo: "Probably wanted him to make another Frankenstein, Hey you think the Dr. ever gave him a you know..."

Ash: "Why? Why would you even think about that?"

Lolo: "Eh... The Scocially Handicapped Genius has just gone to the woman with the 1000Watt smile. Did you ever see the episode of friends where Ross whitened his teeth?"

Ash: "I don't think they have a black-light here. Next up is The Sexy Stud, I'm still betting that the Bimbo Quartet are holding out for him.

Lolo: "You know what I think, their doing a joint bid."

Ash: "Ewwee. Where on earth do you come up with these things?!"

Lolo: "Uh oh. I feel trouble coming, Ancient Head Mistress is getting up to the auctioneer and taking the mike."

Ancient Head Mistress: "250,000 for the Stud, anyone of you little whores want a go at him now!!"

Lolo: (falls of chair in a fit of laughter)

Ash: "Well the woman knows what she wants. Hold on, there's an announcement being made to the audience, our last male the Billionaire Old Geezer has just been pronounced dead."

Lolo: "I should have known, The Bimbo Quartet are crying.

Ash: "They actually look heartbroken."

Lolo: "You'd be too if you were this close to getting millions."

Ash: "Well then both Lolo and I bid you a due, with the voices of teenagers crying over money, a grown man begging not to be raped by an old woman and another about to be be-headed..."

Lolo: "Nasty."

Ash: "This is the end of this years 2nd Semi Annual PMS auction."

Lolo: "Good night and good luck."

Ash: "No more movies for you."

Note: Insanity IS the sexiest blogger, runners up are Ahmed and to my utter disbelief 3zayez

Quickie

2007-01-03T02:49:00.000+03:00

Newcastle drew V Man U AHAHAHAHAHA ah yes it felt good had to leave at 77th minute and they held on :D oh YAAAAAY u must feel my joy ppl Newcastle are 13th Man U are 1st we ROCK!! Found the score out at my parents did a little boogie dance, turned my husband to a Man u fan just to spite me, I know I can feel the love too.

Enough football

Watched the Saudi movie "Kaif el 7al" twas 3adi kinda like a made for TV movie anyway my mum, you gotta love my mum, called it....

Wait for it...

"Eshloonkum 6aybeen" LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL brilliant I swear pure comic genius, and no she actually thought that was the name.

What else, torture is showering, having the water run cold and forgetting the towel. Why do ppl look at me funny when I order frappaccino instead of something hot?!?! I am off shopping for the next 6 months yes, yes, ooohhh and I got my sexy boots woohoo, my others were ruined :(

New years resolutions hmmm...

Get a job
Stick to job
Buy a car? looooooool getting ahead of myself
Lets just stick to Ash getting off her lazy ass

Eid was...... bleh, plus I froze my ass off, forgot my jacket and I was masquerading as Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, yeah you don't want the details. I have not felt blood in my legs for the past 4 days, and my expectation of not seeing blood this Eid was blissfully dashed. Oh and for Gods sake STOP PUTTING PICS OF DEAD SHEEP UP, I don't need to see more blood wallah I don't.

HAPPY EID !!!

Hope u had a good one

You asked for it

2006-12-29T07:20:00.000+03:00

Alright lets take a little tour of what's been going on in my mind, and why I haven't been able to post for a few days. I've been confused, frightened, heart broken, numb, exhilarated, in awe, excited beyond belief, in bliss, in pain and disappointed. I've felt battered, bruised and used, I've broken down and in no rush to fix myself. I feel myself splitting in two between fantasy and reality and yet I don't find myself leaning to either just sitting there in the middle about to fall between the cracks. Ohoo I am desperately looking for an easy escape route because lord help me I cant take much more of this mundane life and remain sane. I can't see myself grow old and just live life, this life is so testing whether its dramatic or stable I don't feel a part of it. I'm looking at everything as if I'm on the outside living in, nothing tugs at me or tries to pull me back, I'm just being...

Damn it I'm slipping and nothings holding me back, this is just a show I'm playing a part in and only cause it was available. The worst of it is, I cant share it, its my burden and I will not have anyone worry over me, my family nor my husband. Even if I did they wouldn't understand, life is so easy for them mashallah and I don't wish it differently for them but how on earth would they comprehend what and how I think. My friends, ugh god my friends, I cant share with them, I cant be me with them and its not their fault, I either push or shade the truth, they never see me, cause I'm just that good, that adapt. Its not a good thing that I know but I cant depend on them anyway, friends always leave you or vice versa, its my curse or my test whatever you call it, they are never around when you need them.

On that issue I ask you should you depend on the undependable and end up hurt when you fall??

Or should you just use whats available and go on to the next when its gone?

I guess it depends on the phrasing, "If you knew you'd lose your leg tomorrow would you sit and mourn it, or run while you can?" then again why not "snip it in the bud?"

I'm scared to be alone with myself, my brain wont shut up and its freaking me out, it just sits there and taunts me. Its sad cause now I have to surround myself with people in order to drown its voice, sort of distract me so I don't hear it. I cant even lose myself in writing, because by some twisted turn of events my life is actually more interesting LMFAO go figure!! I know I sound crazy, that's nothing new to me, but the crying jags, anger fits and the zoning out they're too much, they're not me?!?!

Ah screw it...

Note: this is dedicated to my bestest friend EVER woohoo! Who ditched me in my hour of need (no foof its not kareem) huh brilliant... oh and hey honesty is a bitch!!!

Closure

2006-12-18T02:22:00.000+03:00

Do you know who I am...?

I am your deepest fantasy
Your worst nightmare, come true
I am what you can never be
And what you can never have

Do you know who I am...?

I am the person you wished you never knew
The person you wish dead every night
I am the person who would not lock up the truth
I am the person who stood her ground when others wouldn't

Do you know who I am...?

I am the mere woman who placed you in a 6 by 9
The person who had you prowling your cage from
Corner to corner like the animal you are
I am the one person you should have never messed with

Do you know who I am...?

I am the hybrid of two nations
The daughter of a great man, wife to another
How dare you try to take what is not yours
But you failed and still you'll pay

Do you know who I am...?

I am the one flame that could not be put out
Backstabbed, disillusioned, scared beyond belief
But I went on, stumbled and crippled, but I got there
And I got you.

Do you know who I am...?

Ha! You fool, you pathetic idiot
Did you think you could simply take
Come into my home and expect no retribution
Did you expect me to cower, to hide

Do you KNOW who I am...?

I am the one who ran and screamed
I am the one who fought back
I am the one you couldn't get
I AM the one who got away

Do you know who I am...?

I am a woman, strong willed and tough
I am an Arab, a Saudi, a Muslim
I am a creature of God who sought justice
I am the person who would not give up

Do you know who I am...?

I am the person who used to dream of killing you
The person who wanted to feel, to see, your blood seeping out
The person who wished you a painful and long death, and the fear that speared me
But no more, now I just pity you.

Do you know who I am...?

I am the person who gave you too much importance
I am the person who wasted tears on what could not be changed
I am the person who learnt, never to trust, never to assume
I am the person who witnessed divine intervention

Do you know who I am...?

I am all the above and more

Do you know who you are...?

Nothing

Only Human

2006-12-09T07:40:00.000+03:00

It is actually very terrifying to be honest with yourself, stripped naked and raw very vulnerable to the point that it is truly painful physically painful to face none other then yourself. Oh yes the ego takes a quick swift kick in the ass when you realize that not only are you human and flawed but that your own nightmare, your own judge and jury is yourself your very own boundaries. We grow as children to adults cultivating a set of scales and standards of what is acceptable behavior, of what is right and wrong with no loophole. We grow to learn how to identify the white and black of life with no gray, no what if's, as if life is all so simple. Pride is accumulated to the point where we defy reason or logic and assume we are impenetrable, that we somehow have risen above mortality and frailties of humans. I myself have done and felt that and more, and now I feel a need to clarify, I am human blissfully flawed and should learn to accept it. Should and will are too separate things but I'm hoping I will, I am human and I have asked too much of myself and now I see it. As painful as it is it's not a sense of loss I have or shame, it's a sense of freedom of accepting. You might not understand but I have essentially screwed myself over and YET there is a sense of pride that it is I that has had the privilege of bringing "Ash" back down to earth. Yes the ego remains but, baby steps...

I have judged people, I have assumed the worst, I have seen myself above others for no reason, I have criticized with no helpful intention, and I have let wrongs pass when I will not excuse others to do so... I have done all that and others have done to me and so I ask for forgiveness, redemption if you will for all those I have intentionally and unintentionally hurt or offended and I ask the same of them.

I cannot bare my own soul to my own eyes because its too frightening too humiliating to see my own faults, but I am "pushed" by a dear friend to do so. It is the sense of disappointing myself that has me trying to back down, of looking at myself and cringing at the mere possibility of hypocrisy. So I see myself, flaws and all and it's liberating in an odd sense to accept them, to no longer excuse them because for the simple reason that I am after all...

Only human.

Thank you

Ashophobia... the fear of everything sexy

2006-12-07T18:32:00.000+03:00

The following is a list of known phobia's, I'm pretty sure there are more but we'll stick to these for now. Actually I was pretty surprised by a few, like the sermon and string phobia, would not have guesses that to be a phobia if my life depended on it. Hmm I think I have one of these not sure its to an extent of a phobia but who knows, anyway let me know who has what phobia... I promise not to abuse the knowledge hehehehe

Acrophobia... Heights
Aerophobia... Flying
Agoraphobia... Open spaces, public places
Aichmophobia... Sharp pointed objects
Ailurophobia... Cats
Amaxophobia... Vehicles, driving
Anthropophobia... People
Aquaphobia... Water
Arachnephobia... Spiders
Astraphobia... Lightning
Batrachophobia... Frogs, amphibians
Blennophobia... Slime (EEWWWEEE)
Brontophobia... Thunder
Carcinophobia... Cancer
Claustrophobia... Closed spaces, confinement
Clinophobia... Going to bed (reminds me of my sisters' first day of school)
Cynophobia... Dogs
Dementophobia... Insanity
Dromophobia... Crossing streets
Emetophobia... Vomiting
Entomophobia... Insects
Genophobia... Sex (NO!!! say it ain't so)
Gephyrophobia... Crossing bridges
Hematophobia... Blood
Herpetophobia... Reptiles
Homilophobia... Sermons
Linonophobia... String
Monophobia... Being alone
Musophobia... Mice
Mysophobia... Dirt and germs
Nudophobia... Nudity
Numerophobia... Numbers (really?!?!)
Nyctophobia... Darkness, night
Ochlophobia... Crowds
Ophidiophobia... Snakes
Ornithophobia... Birds
Phasmophobia... Ghosts
Phobophobia... Phobias (Ok I don't get this, phobia from phobias, if you have a phobia from phobias then you HAVE A PHOBIA)
Pnigophobia... Choking
Pogonophobia... Beards
Pyrophobia... Fire
Siderodromophobia... Trains
Taphephobia... Being buried alive (Well uh DUH!!)
Thanatophobia... Death
Trichophobia... Hair
Triskaidekaphobia... The number 13 (NOOOOOOOO it's a lovely number)
Trypanophobia... Injections
Xenophobia... Strangers
Zoophobia... Animals

Oh just remembered SAY NO TO BETA!! You cannot comment on those blogs ugh its annoying ppl who have beta I suggest u get a c box till blogger fixes the problem since u cannot go back to using the regular version. *snickers at Taq*

Oh and you can thank maha for the title, :D

(note: the posts was not written to make fun of phobias and I apologize before hand if it has offended anyone)

Rub a dub dub

2006-11-29T04:37:00.000+03:00

My baby sleeps in her tub...

Yeah u heard me

Her

Tub

I think she's in love with it, you know the little portable tubs u get for babies, she drags it around with her everywhere.

My baby is in love with her tub...

I found her asleep in it twice already, asleep... in the tub

Hmm

She pulls on my pig tails, yeah I do pig tails, makes my hair go all wavy tis cool, she kinda uses them as reins... We fight over who gets the pillow...... MY PILLOW and she usually wins, ends up sleeping on my legs a half hour later... She likes dancing to "Smack that" and "Fergalicious" She eats my digestives and I eat her yogurt but we share the Indomi. I have to remember what page I last read in my novels cause she goes after my bookmarks, I found three under the couch cushions. I can reach 20 sit ups before she jumps on me, so its *Ash gets up puts baby near TV goes back to do another 20...Jojo attacks* and so on till I reach the intended number. She melted my breath strips by sucking on the box, they're kinda crinkled now, I put sour liquid candy on her tongue... well we WERE sharing. She thinks my mobile is a bomb that will go off if I don't answer, she doesn't say "alo" when she grabs the phone but "abo" instead. She has an affection for partially squashing ants, she likes to see them wither before she firmly kills 'em. If anyone kisses her or tries to take her pacifier she'll slap them, she likes to walk between my feet, I've tripped over her 3 times so far (no she was not hurt) Her father has never won the cup whilst playing football on his PS2 cause she keeps unplugging it when he reaches the Semi and/or quarter finals. She pulls the laces out of my trainers and I only find out when I'm in a rush to leave. She dumps her diapers, my personal stuff, my clothes and papers on the floor and when caught she lowers her head and gives me her pacifier as compensation.

My Jojo is just over 15 months old and I am completely whipped...

Cry me a river

2006-11-24T18:08:00.000+03:00

I have come to the conclusion that there is some serious wiring gone wrong in women, don't give me that look let me explain.

If a woman gets sacked (fired) she cries
If a woman gets dumped she cries
If a woman bangs her toe against something she cries
If a woman cuts herself she cries
If a woman sees a sad movie or reads a sad book she cries

Wait for it...

If a man gets sacked he says "screw you" and moves on
If a man gets dumped (man not boy) he says "screw you" and moves on
If a man bangs his toe he curses like theres no tomorrow
If a man cuts himself he'll go "shit" then wonders if he'll have a sexy scar
If a man... ok unless your gay you wont see a sad movie

Ok personally I hate it, why do women have to cry when faced with any kind of trauma or emotional pulls etc...? Its annoying, you ruin your make up, your eyes and nose go all read and you cant even say your mind, its seriously embarrassing, and no one looks good when crying. Its like when you bang your head against something (happens to me all the time :D) a "message" is sent to your brain that you've just been hit, and then it CC's to your tear ducts, WHAT THE HELL. I mean just a few weeks ago I started crying at my best friends wedding, ME!! CRYING!! Can you imagine that?!?! It's a joyous and happy occasion and I'm blubbering like an idiot, BLUBBERING!!! You know this is all hormonal, its like if you have a baby that's it, you go all sensitive and mushy and blegh!! Aaaahh the tomb boy in me was seriously disappointed, you see I told you serious wiring gone wrong...

Bala Dala3 and Tag's

2006-11-19T04:46:00.000+03:00

Right, well after Taq kinda went "Get back to blogging and bala dala3 (loosely translates to stop being a baby)" Thought eh why not? Yes I do realize I got quite a few people saying the same thing, but Taq is just so god damn eloquent. I will post inshallah about my "finding Ash" expedition but don't get too excited it wasn't as powerful as I thought. Anyway, during my absence, I kept getting tagged by BJ who can't get to my blog since I swear too much (shocker) and thus her campus DSL wont allow her to open my blog and THUS (note to self stop using the word thus) doesn't know I haven't been blogging. Lets see we got the picture drawing tag, the south park thing, some other stuff I cant remember but we'll stick to the pics for now...

No this is not me, its just a pic
Mwahahahaha loving the blood...

On a different note people have been going on about equality and what not, heres the thing, no one is better then the other because of blood, history, colour, nationality or whatever lame excuse. Knowledge is power people, you want to better yourself then educate yourself, stop being ignorant.

Rage

2006-11-12T04:02:00.000+03:00

I had to come back, for this

"A Saudi court has sentenced a gang rape victim to 90 lashes of the whip because
she was alone in a car with a man to whom she was not married.
The sentence
was passed at the end of a trial in which the Al Qateef high criminal court
convicted four Saudis convicted of the rape, sentencing them to prison terms and
a total of 2,230 lashes.
The four, all married, were sentenced respectively
to five years and 1,000 lashes, four years and 800 lashes, four years and 350
lashes, and one year and 80 lashes.
A fifth, married, man who was stated to
have filmed the rape on his mobile phone still faces investigation.
Two
others alleged to have taken part in the rape evaded capture.
Saudi courts
take marital status into account in sexual crimes. A male friend of the rape
victim was also sentenced to 90 lashes for being alone with her in the
car.
The court heard that the victim and her friend were followed by the
assailants to their car, kidnapped and taken to a remote farm, where the raping
occurred.
The victim was quoted by Okaz newspaper as saying she had expected
harsher penalties for the assailants, especially as they had pleaded not
guilty.
Her husband and family said that they would appeal to the court
Saturday for harsher penalties for a crime that has shocked public opinion in
Saudi Arabia and been the subject of months of debate."

What the fuck!! Is the judge a complete idiot or simply a moron, hold on, I'm breaking my fucking keyboard typing this.

This is directed to the judge/sheik whatever, you messed up chauvinistic bull headed bitch, how could you?? How dare you be lenient, when it is not even your right to be?!?! I hope you get screwed over so hard, their dicks come out your fucking nose, you ignorant bastard. I hope you get raped so hard, for so long, by so many that you fucking bleed for days on end. The woman was looking for justice and though god will give it to her, you took what's rightfully hers and for that I damn you, I damn to hell and back. You took her right and for that there is no excuse.

This sheep shagging sheik should be hanged by his balls, what the hell people this isn't right, don't you dare tell me this is right. The woman was raped by 7 men, I don't care if she was raped by one SHE WAS RAPED and you dare tell me she DESRVES 90 lashes well fuck you and the camel you road on. You, YOU are exactly what gives the rest of humanity, the rest of us Muslims a bad name. As for the rapists, I'm sorry I'm lost for words, I can't express my fury, my rage, its just too much, but I will tell you this. What you did to that girl, to that woman it will come back to you, you will sit there with you daughter, or your wife, or you sister, crying to you about how someone raped her when that someone is you, yes you, YOU FUCKING HYPOCRIT. All of those men should be stoned to death no buts no ifs, by Islamic law they should be killed, not jailed, KILLED. They've just scarred a woman for life and they get a few years of freedom knocked off!!!!! How many of you agree that this very sheik is a chauvinistic pig, who cries every time his wife delivers another girl??

Oh god this is too much...

The woman had the guts the courage to speak out to not let it go unpunished to stop them from doing their crimes to someone else......

AND SHE GETS 90 FUCKING LASHES

So far I've heard that she was meeting someone who was not a family member and not her husband/fiance. Other stories have her being kidnapped from the street by force, but you are missing the point entirely. SHE WAS GANG RAPED... you think that she deserves anything but sympathy after that ordeal?!?! My god people what is happening, the rapists were men, married with children, living among us, if that doesn't have you shaking your head and ripe with fury then we are seriously in a sorry state. I agree with Nzingha in reference to rapists, all should be put to death, and if possible I'd stand in line with her to take one of those 90 lashes.

Some IDIOT had the NERVE to say she was lucky not to get stoned herself since she was married.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!

Married, engaged, hell I don't care if she was a whore, that's not the point, meeting someone or being dragged off the road, that is not the point. Justice is not being served and only a mute devil can sit there and say nothing to injustice, cause you'd just be raping the poor woman all over again. I should also mention that the man who tried to help her, the same man she was supposedly meeting was apparently raped just like her. Explain to me how the judge simply ignored sodomy!!!

That's it I'm actually shaking with rage right now I need to cool off so I leave you with this...

I give this woman my whole hearted respect, and all my sympathy

Lost

2006-10-30T01:34:00.000+03:00

Well it was inevitable, I'm re-evaluating Ash...

I need time off, I've lost my footing and I need to find it. I'm no longer satisfied, just wasting my time so I need to be alone for a while from a lot of things and a lot of people. God its going to be shitty, hard and heartbreaking but I need to do this, I need to do SOMETHING, make some decisions and so forth. So I wont be blogging, and I wont be chatting either, I'll probably be tempted to, but I dont want to go back to the same old rut. I WILL BE BACK. I assure you I will, but for now I need to be a little selfish and keep Ash/Sweet Anger/Cold Witch to myself. To everyone who has ever stopped by or commented here, thank you so so much for sharing yourself, good or bad, with me and taking the time to read what I had to say. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I'll probably be back before the new year umm well fingers crossed that is. I'm gonna miss you guys, don't have too much fun without me oh and keep voting for the sexiest blogger, y'all can at least give me one vote :P. . . Take care luv's you better miss me!!

Yes, i talk sex

2006-10-28T05:37:00.000+03:00

If we are, in an ideal world, meant to be virgins before marriage and thus know nothing of sex, and when married and experienced the idea of being open about sexuality is shunned, then when is it acceptable to do so? You see I feel like I'm in limbo, I like to write fiction, it is for me one of my highly prized pleasures that I truly enjoy. Yet many find it surprising that I choose to write freely about sex, and the lack of modesty is apparently unacceptable, especially from a married woman. Let me explain something to you, when I write I dream, a place where there is no boundaries and there are no eternal consequences. A place where you are free to do as you please, after all, why would anyone dream of boundaries? I write about sex because I enjoy it, I enjoy bringing characters together and seeing them mesh, I like the complexities of relationships. So why is it that by being married and a mother to boot, I am not ALLOWED to talk sex? Should I not be married then?! What I truly find infuriating is the idea of being categorized AGAIN!! I'm not simply Ash a writer, oh NO, I am a married Saudi woman Muslim mother of one, who just happens to be called Ash. You see how that just MIGHT aggravate me, I am a person above all things I've been lucky enough to find a partner and blessed with a child BUT they do not DEFINE me!!! Yet it happens I am defined by a piece of paper that took me 3 seconds to sign, and a child that took 12 hours to get out, but the 23 years of learning about life and creating my personality is dismissed. But here I am getting off track, back to my fiction. Let's see, my writing has been called, poetry, eloquent, interesting, pornographic and sick, and in each of those I find a compliment. I do not find criticism of my writing hateful or unwarranted after all they are opinions and opinions should never be forced and are always welcome. It is, however, when I am morally attacked that I take offence. I shall not and will not feel ashamed of my sexuality, I enjoy sex, doing it, reading it, and writing it, it doesn't matter if you agree or not, it is my choice. I am not less of a Muslim by writing it nor am I less of a respectable wife, and just for those who are still shaking their heads in dismay, I'll have you know that all my stories are read by my husband who has repeatedly told me to consider selling them. It is quite simple, if my stories are to your taste then by all means read and comment, if they are not then do not read and comment. If you have questions about me personally then trust me I will not bite your head off, ask away, If you have questions about my stories then ask on that site. Either way, enjoy and don't be so close minded, open your mind and soul to fiction. . .

Your Facade is Running Thin

2006-10-20T21:37:00.000+03:00

I do not like fake assed, superficial, down right rotten people, who think they are fooling the world with their layers upon layers of camouflage that is as tangible as this god damn comp I'm working on. Sick, sick, sick people who should not even be allowed to live and sure as hell shouldn't be allowed to reproduce and fill this god forsaken world with more of their kind. God damn idiots, who simple have to be in the know, people who will without a second thought use anyone and everyone in their path and will have the gall the fucking audacity to try to use them again. Messed up imbeciles who live off other people's curiosity towards them or else they shrivel up and die. They sit there all smiles, and innocence when they don't even realize they're stinking up the place with their rotten cores. Two faced is not what these people are, they have faaaaaar too many personas, they have an ability to lie and keep track of what lie and to whom. HA!! But I'll be there the minute they stumble, the minute people see through them and then I'll see you and it'll be damn ugly but lord will it be fun to see you fall. Oh yes I've had the misfortune of knowing your type, but I will not pretend to be your friend like so many others and don't you dare try to be mine. The undeniable evil that runs through YOUR veins is simply disgusting, but I will not give you the credit of a genius oh no, you're simply sick.

You Facade is running thin

Yes, yes take me!!

2006-10-18T07:27:00.000+03:00

I do feel sorry for certain types of women who will not allow a man to take the upper hand, or will not allow themselves to be held at a disadvantage to man. Let me explain. There comes a time when you simply must allow a man to take control, not because he is wiser or such absurdities, but merely because it is ever so enjoyable to BE taken. To have him so engrossed in you that if he doesn't have you right there and then he'd die, come on!! That is so hot. You see, unfortunately the "caveman antiques" have been dismissed as arrogance or un-gentleman like, but honestly when a man simply cannot take his hands off you THAT is a compliment. Yes, yes I know feminists are pounding on my door, tsk tsk, but let me ask you, when a woman demands respect and says "I am not a sex object do not think about me that way." Then has the gall to say "Why don't you think about me that way am? I not women enough for you? Do you not find me attractive?" Explain to me why is it so insulting to be thought of as sexually attractive?!?! After all it means the ball is your court, does it not? Back to being had, there is an instinct embedded in women that you should taunt and tease a man relentlessly, after all you have to admit its quite entertaining, that instinct is to get a man to snap and take, mmmm yes yes. There is also an instinct to go down "guns blazing" so to say, it is in laymen's term when a woman goes "Uh no we shouldn’t." or tries , however lame the attempt, to squirm free, mmhhmm y'all know what I'm talking about *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*, I'll tell you something if your response is "You know your right we shouldn't." and proceed to stop, then someone needs to shoot you, period, no buts. You see what she's looking for at this point is TO BE HAD, to completely and utterly have all choice removed from her hands (except the NO, when a woman says no you HAVE to stop ya ass). There is nothing wrong with admitting that a woman is different then a man, and its not degrading or demeaning to women to think so. A woman is gloriously different then a man, it's why we're attracted to the opposite sex and why they are called the OPPOSITE sex !!for crying out loud. A man can be masculine, physically strong, rough and straight forward, and a woman can be soft, alluring, gentle and devious it's a brilliant mix!! Point is ladies, if you don't find the whole clothes ripping, mmm yes, yes take me now, hot then you are missing out big time and ya might as well give him a laid out plan of what, when, how, for how long, and the acceptable results and wait for boredom to ensue. . .

Please note that I am talking about men via relationships (whatever it is you find acceptable morally) and not sleaze balls trying to grope you at the mall or wherever or fucked up idiots trying to rape you. Oh and just so we're clear, people take this light heartedly and share your opinions with me, I don't bite . . . . . well if I do just bite back :P

Q and A with Sweet Anger

2006-10-14T08:08:00.000+03:00

alright here are your questions posted as promised :D

Taqo
Whats ur favourite fruit?

Let it not be said that Saudi bloggers have no imagination : oh and if you're really interested its either Pineapples or raspberries

Fashionista Bella:
Do u ever feel like ur the fat in a non fat drink? y3ni do u ever feel like ur invisible and if so around who?

Yes, yes, yes happens all the time my luv, now if you do feel unappreciated around certain "friends" then they are not friends and you're better off without. I have been in the situation with a few girls form my days in college, a few social obligations *sighs* easiest thing to do is snip it in the bud, snip, snip, snip and never, NEVER question ur gut feeling. I do have to point out though that I sometimes purposefully zone out, you know make myself invisible, :D it stops me from killing myself around boring people which are a dime a dozen here. As for who exactly, well no one in particular just anyone who doesn't get me

Do u ever just STOP wanting to be a mother?

Ok honestly and I'm only being honest I was completely freaked out when I first got Jojo, but I would never dream of wanting things to be different now. She's just too adorable, the only way I can describe it is like being addicted to something, u just cannot stop being a mother. It doesn't mean I'm going to have a dozen kids :P looool hell I'm not crazy, hmm well ok I'm not THAT crazy. But it is such a great feeling a wonderful gift :D

Farooha
what's your stance toward homosexuality? Deviance, way of life, disease, WHAT?

Farah I told you NO FAROOHA SANDWICH!!! Here's the thing, if you're a woman who cannot appreciate a man, only thing I can say is you poor, poor thing!! And if you're a man who cannot appreciate a woman then I say : (queue grasshoppers) umm yeah that's just nasty

Gadfly
Do you like handcuffs and feathers?
Mmmm yes to the feathers, handcuffs, well, I'm sure I'll like it but I haven't tried them yet so I'll get back to you on that.

Madhatter
DO u sometimes wish that u never had children?

Well I only have the one but no I'd never wish that, she's too precious

Insanity
Is ur name really Ashley ?
Looool noooo, tis Ashwag umm btw I spell it Ashwaq just wanted to share that tid bit of info :S

OT
Out of all the top flight teams, why Newcastle?!

Alan Shearer, I have been a Newcastle fan since 96 when he signed on and shall remain a magpie fan HO WAY THE LADS, plus they're my boys cannot leave 'em

Mochness
If you were to pick not taking a shower for a week or not brushing your teeth for a week, which would you choose?

well in this weather i'd have to go with not brushing my teeth, eeewweee even saying it grosses me out but, but, i'd rather be sweat free :P

Foof
Chocolates or chips? Juice or beer? Pants of skirts? Heels or flats? Jojo or friends(in terms of favorable company)? Mom or dad? Sis or Bro? Me or Bored? :P

hmmm Crisps (chips), Beer, Trousers (pants), Trainers (love my blue sketchers) hmmm friends since i dont get to see them as often as i like, uh uh cant choose which, SIS!!, aaww love ya foof but i'd have to say my partner in crime bored :D ahem who happens to have a new blog for y'all who are interested

I got nothing

2006-10-07T21:57:00.000+03:00

I'm uninspired,
If I'm uninspired it means I will not post, you see I refuse to post juts for the sake of posting. You have different blogs, who focus on different subjects, some are diary's and some are politically based. I like keeping this blog a mix of what I like or what interests me and right now there's not much to blog about.

Oh oh I know I'll close down my blog

Mwahahahah like that'll happen

Nope you're not rid of me that easily, now I'd like to point out that the summer bloggers have officially died down. Ah yes yes LOADS of people joined during the summer entertained us for a bit and have now GONE. . . ah well till next summer then.

I have an idea

Wow I can actually feel the light bulb go on atop my head, bloggers who visit my humble blog send me outrageous question via comment and I shall post all, ALL the answers on my blog. I shall reiterate ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS SHALL BE POSTED, next thing u know I'll be giving advice :D

By the way, Sexy hands Foof and I were chatting and she suggested we have a hmm bulletin board of sorts (would be best if it was on Saudi blogs) where bloggermeets (dates, time, location, whose attending) are available, I tink tis a good idea might bug ahmed and see what he thinks. . .

Oh pah-lease!!

2006-09-29T07:45:00.000+03:00

Go to Insanity's blog to get a clearer picture on the post

Come my darlings, sit and listen to me as I share a few tid bits of info with you about the male species. Yes my loves take a few moments and be enlightened.

Arguing with a man, like self gratification, is only temporarily pleasurable do not be pulled in and remember my darlings we are dealing with mere mortals who have deluded themselves since the beginning of man kind that they are the better half. Some useful info when dealing with a man on a rampage. . .

Step 1: Remember a man only uses one head and it's not the one on his shoulders, therefore logic is not an option.

Step 2: Each man thinks of himself as perfect, so when a woman is tired of him and starts to push away he uses the "you're trying to change me" excuse that comes into play since his mind cannot accept the concept of a "better guy" existing.

Step 3: Try not to confuse the poor dear, remember one head is going "damn it!! Get her mad enough to come at you and have wild animalistic sex" while the other head is going "Huh?" I personally would advise drawing a flow chart with all the problems and how they led to one another :D

Step 4: Don't use big words, it insults their manhood.

Step 5: Don't be offended when he interrupts remember a man needs to hear his own voice every 5 seconds. Tis why if you don't yell out their name during throes of ecstasy, they'll call out their own name.

Step 6: A man (ahem. . . boy) will always laugh when cornered, remember slapping is always an option.

Step 7: When a man runs away. . . he's simply not a man.

Step 8: The "lets stop arguing." Speech is lame and should only be used when the argument is satisfactorily over. Instead let your bottom lip quiver slightly and then bite down on it (hard enough for your eyes to water) ladies do not use tears that's just not right. Walk close enough to speak directly to his ear, (totally understand if your hmm. . . Chest brushes against him) before saying anything let a little sigh or an "mmm" escape, followed by a "you poor thing." and walk away.

Step 9: If he starts saying something stupid like, "Lisa is sexier then you," *snickers at the name Lisa* then merely say, "I know!! She even does this little hiccupping sigh when she's about to. . ." Blush, then say nothing, (batting eyelashes is optional)

Step 10: Never cry to keep a man, its far too shallow and demeaning. Instead punch him in the nose and let him do the crying.

Step 11: *sighs* remember only children and spineless slugs run away.

Step 12: tsk tsk, (why are men afraid of saying pms?!?!)

Step 13: I love my mummy!! WTF!?!?

Remember men are not to be blamed for their machoism and testosterone afflicted thoughts, they simply misunderstood the saying "two heads are better then one"

Note: this post is a response to Insanity mmmwwwaa777 luv ya kid

For a friend so true

2006-09-27T07:23:00.000+03:00

Should I be worried that I don't have a real friend?
Now don't get me wrong I have friends, close friends, good people whom I love and friends that I've known for years, but that's not what I'm looking for. The person I'm talking about is someone you love unconditionally, a person that stays and feels close even if you haven't seen or spoken to them for days, weeks or months. Someone who backs you 110% right or wrong, who you can lean on when need be and will yell back at you when you need a good put down. Someone you can argue with for hours but cant stay mad at, who'll call you back and you know when that phone rings that no matter how hard you push and test them they keep at it. Someone who understands that when that phone rang it was an apology and when you answered it the apology was accepted. A person who you can share everything and anything with, good or bad, stupid or not, you feel no shame in leaving yourself open to them. Not because you exchanged secrets, merely because you click, because there's a bond, one that not time nor distance can effect. One who'll put up with your jabbering because they know your trying to say something that's not being said. One who you can breakdown in front of and you'll know that they'll simply pick up the pieces and help you put yourself back together without blinking. A person who'll comfort you by simply being, a simple hand held or a body hugged that can convey so much strength and so many words that no poet can describe.

Oh what I'd do for a friend so true.

Complex and smart. Funny and honest. Strong and just. Kind and gentle. I'm know I'm asking for a lot, but damn it I've waited 23 years and they still haven't showed up. The irony is, I might already know this person but have been too busy to notice, too blind to see them, or too stubborn to open up. I'm tired of giving too much and getting far less then I deserve. Appreciation… a wonderful word, very rarely used. Yes that's what I'm looking for, someone who appreciates me, who'll feel a little (even tiny) little hole in them if I leave. I guess it's only human to want to be irreplaceable. Aahh funny isn't it, I just remembered what my name means, desire and longing, well my mum chose well didn't she? And this is why I sometimes wish I really was a cold witch. . .

UR of A and B update

2006-09-24T02:36:00.000+03:00

Chapter Three

posted!!!

Where the hell is our watchdog??

2006-09-21T06:55:00.000+03:00

Why don't we have consumer protection? I'm pretty sure I've seen some lame excuse of an "organisation" thats meant to be such BUT I'm not an idiot, it is merely a building with a sign on it. Now I've lived in Saudi for seven years now and I have seen NOTHING and heard NOTHING about new testing or regulations on food especially not about labelling, or any other services. I honestly think that this country (not saying it doesn't happen anywhere else) lives and breaths monopoly (do not pass go do not collect 200 hehehe). Let's take pricing for example, you see here product prices can go up and down with no warning. It's done smoothly enough, let's take a bag of chips (crisps to any Brits) that weighs 400gr costs 1 riyal, next day the bag is still 400gr and has an advertisement of 15% extra for free, yeah sneaky bastards. A few days later you see that the bag is its normal self but actually weighs 340gr, of course you and I will not notice the change in weight and thus we are fooled. Let's take insurance, now previously we only had the NCCI, lovely lads who will screw you over (not really true but then again every company in Saudi will try to screw you over), SUDDENLY when licence insurance is mandatory up pops up an "Islamic" insurance company. Now its not about the "oh lookie what popped up now" but the fact that anything with the word Islamic always has a higher rate aka Islamic Credit Cards, bunch of bull (for more info go to your local back :P)

HOLD ON, I'VE NOT FINISHED RANTING!!!

Don't you just hate it when you buy something and its faulty. You see, when you buy clothes, for example, and it has a small tear you are entitled to a discount if u still want it. While shopping at SAKS (a while back) they had a lovely night gown that I desperately wanted, it was lust. So I check it make sure there are no marks and I find the fabric string pulled, so I ask for another one, they have non left, I ask for a discount. . . Long story short I went home with a faulty nightgown. Now as a consumer (yeah I'm enjoying this) I resent being backed into a corner where I HAVE to buy something faulty because it's the only one left, and yes ppl I HAD to buy it. Let's go to appliances, when you buy some electronic equipment and its turns out busted after only a few uses, I should have the right to demand a new one. OH NO not here, here they have the right to fix it till you tell them to shove it up their asses and walk out.

Most countries have watchdogs, an organisation that keeps track of products and follows through on complaints. It is our right and we should expect to be protected,

PEOPLE WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO BITCH :D

Now I searched for info on Saudi consumer protection and most miss the point that I was going for. The only watchdog I found was about the stock market (typical) so if u do have a website on the issue or info let me know.

PS. I know I haven't posted for a while but I was busy with the other blog, that reminds me KEEP CHECKING IT OUT, the story is on going and I would post it here but the content (hehehehe) is a bit graphic for Saudi blogs.

Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead: Chapter One

2006-09-12T07:33:00.000+03:00

New story on the

UR of A and B

check it out my lovelies

I'll be strong tomorrow

2006-09-11T04:50:00.000+03:00

There's an invisible weight on my chest, it so heavy I can actually feel the indentation go deeper and deeper and crush me, suffocate me. It happens when you least expect it, you just there and smile or laugh about some inane thing, then this almost tangible wave comes over you. Such an overwhelming feeling of sadness, it covers you inch by inch, wiping away your smile, tearing away your previous mood, your throat tightens painfully and your eyes glaze over. You can sit there counting the minutes that turns to hours patiently, and still you feel nothing, hollow a mere vacuum. You try to vent, but how can you? When you don't know why this happened, but there must be a reason I just haven't found it. Lord I wish I could cry, they say crying cleanses the soul, it just wont come, the tears just wont come. . .

I don't feel sorry for myself. No. It's just such an overpowering grief, and isn't that the worst, grieving for something missing that remains lost because you don't know what it is. I want to be left alone, and yet I know that if it happens, I'd be lonely, such a heartbreaking loneliness. You get this odd feeling of serenity when you give up fighting, pretending to be ok, you just give in and wait for the sadness to pass. Odd isn't it, I found a tear along my neck and at the corner of my lips, must of happened when I closed my eyes. Nothing is sadder then those big fat tears that fall when you're not even crying, pearls of the soul. Venting must of helped I feel a little better, still vulnerable, slightly lost, but I'll be ok. . .

Today is for me, just for me, but I'll be strong tomorrow.

Yeah I'll be strong tomorrow. . .

Reality v Cyber

2006-09-07T04:11:00.000+03:00

When online do you disassociate yourself from your real life? In other words when online are you yourself or do you turn into something you'd rather be? Do you become the popular one you've always wanted to be in school? Or maybe the mysterious stud who gets all the girls? Do you say things you normally wouldn't? Is there really such a thing as the REAL me and CYBER me?

Forget the idea of cyber world and reality, they're not different unless you portray them as such, after all the internet is part of our real lives is it not? I've been to several websites that conclude people separate themselves from reality when online, it's not the case for what I see especially not in bloggers that I know, it sounds far too shallow and the people I've met online are anything but shallow. Maybe I've been lucky or maybe people online have just changed, but I don't think people run away into cyber reality it just sounds so sad (lame sad not boohoo sad). For the most part I don't think rational people act differently online then off, I think they just express themselves better. If you happen to be more light-hearted or confident online it's only because you suppress it in real life but it doesn't mean its not there, it's there you just haven't used it. The idea of hiding behind a screen is total crap, it's implied that people online feel free of vanity since no one can see them, umm anyone heard of a phone?? I sure as hell don't check my hair if the phone is ringing either, so the point is. . . ? What's REALLY interesting is that "apparently" the txt u receive via msn or chat or whatever, ends up sounding like a person inside your head. Ok people if you feel like there a little man or woman living inside your brain, don't blame it on the net you merely have problems. All in all what I'm saying is the net is no longer just about pimply faced teenagers who have no life. Its far more complex and far more entertaining and here's what I want to know,

Do you think you have a double life?
Is there an online version of you different to your real self?
If so, which do you prefer?

And people please share your opinions, I've shared mine but I don't expect everyone to agree with it :D

Oh oh I just had to add this in found it on the site

hehe - an expression indicating a giggle: it indicates that the user finds something humorous, but not humorous enough to deserve a LOL, ROFL or LMAO. Also written as "hehehe," "hehehehe," "hehehehehe" (etc.) ... or simply as "heh" for the tired or somewhat unenthusiastic user. Sometimes mispelled as "heheh," or "hheh" or "hehhe" etc. (anyone other then me think this person is a loser?)

cybersex - an exercise in collaborative dirty talk and pornographic prop display. Skill at one-handed typing is a distinct advantage. (hehehehe nasty)

LMAO - acronym for Laughing My Ass Off. Scientific research has not yet proven whether users typing a LMAO are actually emitting any sounds from their mouth. (ok when I read this and no exaggerating, I laughed and ended up snorting I thought it was hilarious, emitting sounds LOOOOOOL)

LTNS - Long Time No See (never used that)

Loss of Identity

2006-08-31T06:22:00.000+03:00

I don't want to sound pessimistic but why is it a woman is rarely defined as just that? . . . A woman. Let me take myself for example, I have been a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother and yet there are very few moments where I have merely been myself. A woman, a persona independent of others, one who has emotions, morals, beliefs unique to herself and no one else. Being categorised might be tolerable for the most part, but it's when people begin to forget that they are mere titles (daughter, sister etc...) and that they don't affect or mean a woman is to act a certain way or think in a certain way. In the end trying to fit a mould would mean you either break or bend who you are, and that will inevitably lead to pain and disappointment.

On a different note

My dear sis (yeah you) who finally got her lap top woohoo, praise the lord, literally burst out saying the following, "What the hell happened to you guys?? I used to come to blogger for a good laugh and now everyone's at each others throats!!" Hmm yeah she does have a point, yalla my loves sit down, cross you legs, close your eyes and relax. Aha that's right let all the tension and hate out, breathe, oh by the way, if you have a brain who wont shut up then this wont work :D but try it anyway.

Oh oh has anyone noticed that net addicts (bloggers included :P) are no longer considered pimply faced nerds with no social life woohoo I think Ahmed has a post about it. Oh speaking of which, there will be an upcoming meet inshallah in the next week or so, everyone is welcome to attend don't know exactly when since I need to see which day people are free the most. It will most likely be held in mamlaka and I should reiterate that EVERYONE HAS TO COME!! Which is why I posted this tid bit of info, (I don't have everyones e-mail) so spread the word ladies!!!

To Lujane

2006-08-23T04:16:00.000+03:00

You may wake up every four hours, go through clean clothes like nothing I've ever seen, pull my hair and mess my clothes. You may keep me up till seven 'cause you decided you don't want to go to sleep yet, yell 'cause I didn't give you my beer and throw biscuits at me. Here's the thing Jojo you're stuck with me and honey I wouldn't have it any other way. . .

Happy Birthday to my little mini me Lujane on her very first birthday

Aaawww mashallah I love those pics. :D

Bloggerettes

2006-08-22T03:40:00.000+03:00

So recently I've been lucky enough to meet a few of the Rio bloggers and the always popular Jo, so I thought I'd share my experience. There is no scandle or gossip here so don't get too excited . . .

Diabz: This chick rocks period. Now I don't want to go into too much detail but this girl is beautiful inside and out. Min-jid it's a must to see her again!!

Ace: SWEETNESS!!! Omg this girl is so sweet, she's just too adorable.

Jo: Dum dum dum . . . theme music people, ok kidding. Hmm trying to remember what Jo said to say, oh yeah SHE DOESN'T HATE ANYONE!! Anyway haven't seen Jo in such a looooooooooooong time, I had tears in my eyes *sniff sniff* it was great catching up with Jo such a lovely person. For all you who don't know Jo she is a great person who is just honest and opinionated which should never be frowned upon, she's just plain lovely, hope to see you soon in Rio Jo :D

Noor: OMG I'm in love with this girl, it could be 2 hours or 10 and I still cant get enough of her and boy does she go on and on and on. Man she reminds me of ME?!?! loooool except she's even better

Mochness: Mashallah, mashallah this girl is wicked such a sweetheart but didn't get nearly enough time with her.

Ubergirl: Didn't really get a chance to chat with her but SOOOO sweet.

Bal8ees: pssssst yeah your hotter then Noor :P wonderful gal, good sport too, 1-0 to me luv, aaawww I miss bowling already, and my fingers still hurt :D

Trevelyana: Class!!! This girl is the epitome of well mannered, down to earth, lovely people.
It was soooo much fun meeting these guys, and I so wanna meet. . . Farah, Foof, Taqwa, Bissa, BJ, Super Mo, and so many others cant wait woohoo bloggers are wicked!!!

Walk This Way

2006-08-11T06:04:00.000+03:00

Isn't odd how each person has their own unique way of walking, bare with me a sec, you see the other day I was walking from the living room to the kitchen in my parents home and came back sat down and they all had silly grins on their faces. So I look at my mum and sis and say "what?" my sis bless her heart says, "for someone who acts stuck up you walk like a man." She then proceeds to copy my walk by pushing her shoulders back, sticking her nose up, swinging her arms, feet apart and taking giant leaps to the kitchen and back. Laughing and cursing my sis at the same time, I disregard her but then say that I merely "walk with a purpose" so then she says how I embarrassed her while shopping for a lap top at "Extra". Suffice to say she called me a ping pong ball with a notepad, I get no respect even though I'm the older sister *sigh*. Ping pong ball in reference to me going from one comp to the next then back (what?!? I was comparing) etc, etc... and the notepad, well I had a list of comps and hey I carry my notepad with me at all times... you never know when you get the urge to write...

This is how hilarious people in my family are, my dad's cousin gets a txt message from a man who has the exact same name as my bro, the message says that prayer on his dad will be held today. So what does the cousin do, mmhhmm starts crying (yeah a grown man) "my cousin is dead, he's gone ya allah they took him..." his wife walks in and sees her husband having a nervous breakdown on the couch. After explaining he needed to make sure, he called the man, asked him if his name was blah blah the guy says yes. What does the cousin do? Mmhhmm breaks down again, saying it was him (my bro) and that the poor mans voice was obviously distorted by grief. His wife then calls, no no not my mum, she calls another relative, my uncles wife gets a call and after a few seconds of "whats wrong, feekom shay??" she starts weeping thinking my dad had passed away (aah the drama). So she picks up the phone, no no she doesn’t call my mum, she calls my cousin, who calls my other cousin who lives next to my parents. Yeah, yeah confusing, so my cousin peeks to see if my dads car is in the garage, which it is, then calls the house. My mum answers,
"Alo." Hello?
"5alti umm... 3ami waynah?" translation: Aunti where's my uncle?
"3amik hina...leysh aish 9ayir?" your uncles here…why whats happening?
"La2 3adi walla shay." No its ok its nothing...
Then she starts crying saying in between sobs, "akeed ma feekom shay? 3ami ma feeh shay?" so my mum freaking picks up her mobile and calls my bro, (parental instincts or something) who doesn't answer, so she calls me I don't answer, so she calls my husband...
"Feekom shay?!? Is Lujane ok? Is Ash ok?? Ma feekom shay??" Is there something? Is Lujane ok? Is Ash ok? Is there anything wrong?
"5alti 3asa ma sharr, towick 9a7iyah min el noom." Aunt whats wrong did you just wake up from sleep? (at the time he thought my mum had just woken up from a nightmare)
"Huh? Oh e e." What? oh yes yes.
And to think I lived 15 years without this drama, looooool isn't it wonderful how EVERYONE assumes the worst ah Saudi drama brilliant. (i know i know the translation sucks but you get the point)

Oh that remindes me

My grandmother was at my parents house and as all lovely old people do, they can say ANYTHING and get away with it. She looks at my little girl then looks at me, asks my dad if she looks like me or my hubby, my dad says she looks like me. So what does she say..."Aha warra mit7amisa yoom itjee zayik." (why were you so excited that she looks like you?) let me explain what she meant, it is believed that if a baby looks like a parent it means that THAT parent was more aroused then the other. Yes people my grandma was asking about my sex life... you just gotta love old people.

Unwanted

2006-08-04T19:53:00.000+03:00

You use me, abuse me, discard me and more
And I take it, come back to you and break what I swore.
You take and take and leave me so torn,
Then you forsake me; abandoned, rejected I mourn.
I love you, I hate you ... Just let me be
I love you, I hate you... Stay away from me
You're mean, you're selfish, you're horrid and cruel
I know it, accept it, an epitome of a fool.
And I let it happen over and over again,
Exploited, depleted I'm simply your tool
I love you, I hate you... I'm always drawn back
I love you, I hate you... my will has gone slack
You miss me, respect me, the words are untrue.
You dismiss me, hurt me and never come through
And I hear the same old question that revolves around you
"He'll continue to use me, so what should I do?"
I love you, I hate you... you're bruising my soul
I love you, I hate you... give back what you stole.
So I sit and I write and I try to explain
You don't understand that you cause me this pain
And I've tried to tell you but it's always in vain
I've turned into something I simply disdain
I love you, I hate you... you've led me astray
I love you, I hate you... don't leave me, just stay

Gone

2006-07-25T17:17:00.000+03:00

Alright, I'm off! Not permanently, ( you're not rid of me yet ) I have a few things I need to work on , one of which I'll post on the UR of A and B. Anyway, just giving you guys a heads up, and don’t be offended/disappointed that I haven’t commented on your posts, since I wont be checking on them. Ok, be good to my friend BeetleJuice and try to not kill bored while I'm away, its not his fault he's so rude :P and if Farah comes back someone give her a big sloppy kiss for me, and Nessy enjoy the rest of your stay in cana-duh…BYE!!

Tagged by the cowboy

2006-07-22T18:53:00.000+03:00

Best:

Male friend: Chris and (god is being cruel to me) Kareem.
Female friend: Hanan and Sarah (none bloggers).
Vacation: (wishing) New Zealand and Norway, (been to) USA (Florida) and Austria.

Worst:

Time of day: Midday .
Day of the week: Tuesday.
Color crayon: r u kidding me?! do I look like a kid to you?! :S

Last:

Person you talked to that goes/went to your school: Hanan.
Talked to on the phone: Mummy :D.
Text: let me check, received Hanan and sent, my sis Lolo
Person you instant messaged: Nessy

Today:

What are you doing now: stupid question
Wearing: Gray shorts, pink shirt

Tomorrow:

Is: Sunday
Got any plans: Go with the flow
Goal: you have to have a goal for every single day??
Dislikes about tomorrow: It'll be just as hot as today

Favorite:

Number: 13.
Song: "Cry baby, Cry" Santana feat Sean Paul and Joss Stone
Color: Green, I'm talking so dark it looks black

Currently:

Missing Someone: No not really
Mood: Mildly amused
Wanting: mmmmm Daniel

True/False:

I am a cuddler: True.
I am a morning person: Only when sex is offered
I am a perfectionist: Nope
I am an only child: Huh funny, no.
I am currently in my pajamas: Nope
I am currently pregnant: Oh come on, that’s just mean
I am currently suffering from a broken heart: Nope I am drama free.
I am left handed: Uh uh
I am addicted to Blogging: Duh
I am online 24/7: Nope
I am very shy around the opposite gender: I don’t think so
I can be paranoid at times: Yep
I currently have a crush on someone: Go back up 14 lines
I currently regret something that I have done: Maybe telling Kareem to shut up, but I'll get over it :P
I enjoy country music: no comment
I enjoy smoothies: Nope, mushed fruit doesn’t appeal to me
I enjoy talking on the phone: Nope, I got the bill to prove it.
I have a hard time paying attention at school/work: If its boring its boring.
I have a hidden talent: Yep, still looking for it though
I have a lot to learn: Hell ya
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal: Have secrets but not ashamed of them.

Anger:

Are you currently mad at someone? The madness has passed.
Which of your friends has the worst temper? Kareem, hehehe love you
Have you ever thrown something at anyone? God I wish.
Ever had something thrown at you? Nope
When you’re mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell and scream? Stare angrily

Excitement:

Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party for you? Nope
Are you easily excited? Kinda
What are you most excited about? Right now Bed sounds thrilling
If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought? Don’t be silly, my brain would stop functioning.
If you could have anything right now what would it be? Mmmmmm Daniel

Self-Discovery:

Name: Ash
Where were you born? Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
What’s your main goal in life? To just be me, whatever the hell that is
How do you want to die? Peacefully, whilst ending my prayers.

Opinions:

Sex before marriage? Against
Gay Marriage? If you want it you want it, doesn’t concern me
Lower the Drinking age? OMG there's a drinking age :P
Recycling? Hell ya, the sooner the better.

Dreams:

What was your latest dream? Cant remember
Have any of your dreams come true? Hmm I think so
What was the weirdest dream you’ve ever had? Being chased by a T rex (Big ass dino) don’t laugh I'm serious it was scary as hell, but hey he never got me :D

Love-Life:

Straight, Gay, Bi? Straight.
Do you have a bf/gf? Looool drama
Do you have a crush? Mmmmm Daniel

How many beds did you lay in yesterday? One.
What color shirt are you wearing? Pink
Name one thing that you do everyday? Be a mum :P
What color are your walls? Hmm lemony white ?!?
How much cash do you have on you right now? zilch
I can’t wait till…? I get my books from Amazon.
When was the last time you saw your dad? Today
What did you have for dinner last night? Lasagne
What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? Black shirt from my sis.
What website(s) do you visit the most during the day? My blog
Does anything hurt on your body right now? Yeah.

Have You Ever:

Have you ever failed a class? Oh yeah, Arabic and Islamic something or other
Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? Yep.
Have you ever not taken a shower for 3 days? 3eeeeb, ewe
Have you ever slept with a night light? yep
Have you ever danced in the rain? It’s a must to me.
Have you ever lied? 3eeeeeeeb
Have you ever had contacts? Uh uh
Have you ever tripped over something stupid? All the time, tripped over Lujane once, no one was hurt

Pick One:

Samosa, Pakora, Kebab: Samosa
Bollywood, Lollywood, Hollywood: Hollywood.
Love marriage, Arranged marriage: Love marriage.
Honeymoon, no moon: Honeymoon.
How many kids would u like 1,2, 3+: 4 fingers crossed
Kulfi, Ice cream: Ice cream duh. (don’t know what kulfi is)
Shah ruk khan, Orlando Bloom: Umm poor choices
Meenar-e-Pakistan, Eiffel Tower: Huh?
Lahore, Khi, Islambad: umm riiiiiiiiiight

Well since Fedo tagged practically everyone I will tag hmm... Taqwa, Abdu, Bored, HRH Princess and Orchid

Wise old hags

2006-07-19T19:59:00.000+03:00

So Nessy, my mochalicious friend and I where chatting the other day when we happened to stumble on the thought of our golden years. It was quite interesting to picture us as old ladies, who pretty much get away with anything and everything… mwahahaha oh the power is truly frightening. So why not list a few of the probably events and characteristics that might take place when we become wise old hags and thus become THE COOLEST OLDIES EVER!!!

Whacking kids with canes, this is a classic and therefore must be preserved, it is, also, a favourite of Nessy's. Remember the cane can also be used on adults, who just happen to be your kids, guaranteed to get a few laughs out of anyone who happens to witness the event.
Pretending you cant hear a word, I personally love this especially since my grandmother is gifted in this area. So you're sitting watching TV or sipping tea and someone is blabbing juicy gossip cause she thinks you cant hear, thus you have ammo on both the gossiper and the gossipee (person they're gossiping about).
Frightening annoying little kids by taking you false teeth out and chasing them with it, remember to always snap them open and shut for biting action…
Having the world at your beck and call, seeing as you're old and cannot move much (mmhhmm) you are in constant need of things that are to be brought to you promptly. That and the fact that you have the right to tell someone to get up so you can get off your old tired legs and sit in their place.
Raising your voice for the hell of it, seeing as you are bordering on being deaf (pretending to be) you can therefore yell as loud as you like for no reason other then to annoy everyone around you. This is especially entertaining whilst shopping and at weddings…
Speaking of which, it is custom for the wise ones to get the best seats at weddings, simply another benefit to being old
Matchmaking. Now the reason why most matchmakers are pretty old is due to the benefits. An old woman can practically drag someone off the stage and interrogate her victim, asking mundane questions from her name to the name of her gynaecologist without having so much as a brow lifted in her direction.

Now for what our generation will add to mix of the wise…

We shall keep the crack showing tight ass jeans in fashion, well for oldies at least, no jalabya and shayla or whatever the hell you call it for us
We will, to the mortification of our children and grandchildren, be saying whenever we get together with other oldies, "Remember when we used to dance to Britney Spears" "How many face lifts does she have now??" "Oh I lost count after the 12th" and then reminisce by dancing to "Hit me baby one more time" Hips shall fly.
We will be the new nuisance at the malls, not teenagers, US. This happens for several reasons, for we shall walk about harassing men (far younger then us) by pinching their asses. Yes its time for payback. Seeing as some men are lacking in manners the good old cane works wonders on scalps, oh and on mutawa3a who dare criticize the wise.
We will, as always, use the "when I was your age." Card a few examples are "When I was your age we only had Playstation 2 and you had to play it with handsets!!" *assuming future toys will function on brain waves :P* "When I was your age we only had 350 channels, so stop complaining" I think you get the idea…
Old ladies with henna will be a thing of the past, I am talking blue and pink streaks woohoo. It is after all up to us to humiliate our relatives, and we shall do so with pride.
Hailing a taxi will no longer be a mere lifting of the arm, is shall be done by lifting your 3abaya and showing the world your gorgeous legs, that just happen to be all wrinkled and saggy and if arrested for prostitution (might happen) we can merely say "Sonny, my poor eyes aren't like they used to be; I really thought I was in my house. I've no idea how I ended up over here." and then a couple of false tears or so

People the world will be at our mercy…mwahahahaha

Learning from Mistakes

2006-07-16T04:13:00.000+03:00

How can we possibly improve when we don’t even admit to our mistakes… and we have plenty of problems people but society dictates that we not acknowledge them. Now listing problems doesn’t really help, its pretty much mundane but there are simple solutions that are being brushed aside as simply being too much bother.

Anaemic Education…
I have two baby sisters who go to public schools and I feel so sorry for them… how on earth are they supposed to be stimulated by walls that are cracking, tiles that a dirty and chairs and tables that are breaking?? Easy they don’t. Has anyone ever heard of school fund raisers?? Its that simple… I firmly believe art makes all the difference, come on I'm talking about a few gallons of paint, new chairs and for gods sake put carpets!! My favourite subject, Colleges and Universities!! They are a disgrace, they are a mockery of what education should be. You have no choice in subjects just the bare essentials, the teacher (excluding a select few) are LACKING when it comes to teaching skills. For gods sakes, you are at the mercy of your teacher, if you piss her off she will fail you!!! Explain how that happens ALL the time and I've never heard it addressed or penalised in public. The actual buildings, oh god they are horrific, I don’t care if things look pretty or not, the only thing we should expect and demand is cleanliness and efficiency and we're not even getting that. Now Riyadh has millions of people living in it, so how is it we're not accommodated where education is concerned. We have qualified teacher lying about everywhere, we have the means to build and support more colleges and universities, so where are they?? And I have to point out that having said this, MEN still have it better then women where education is concerned.

Public Profile…
We have rapists, paedophiles, adulterers, alcoholics, drug abusers, all kinds of predators in Saudi… is that so hard to admit? No, because we're meant to learn and protect ourselves. We live in this bubble, where we think we're protected… HUH! Think again we're not protected unless we protect ourselves, we have "bad guys" in this country and it's only when we learn to accept our flaws that we will be able to improve. We don’t publicly acknowledge those unwanted elements of our society so therefore we're vulnerable to them. We have a habit of burying our heads in the sand and pretending everything is ok…

If a woman is raped, a large percentage don’t report it,

The man "some how" disappears
The woman will simply ignore the event and will privately grieve for her loss.
The woman will be convinced, by relatives, that no one will benefit from reporting the incident and she will only shame herself.

Abused children, have no where to run

Some women, if u can even call them human, will ignore the signs since its more then likely to be a relative who is the abuser.
Children might not even realise they're being abused.
Parents who do find out have no idea what to do in such cases and will simply do nothing… leaving the child scarred more then he/she already is.

We need facilities that offer psychiatric help, support and security as well as being discreet. It is such a shame that we are so socially handicapped. Justice is so important to our religion and yet so many innocent are being hurt because we aren’t being just to them.

on a different note...

Extra curricular activities...
The idea of having fun in Saudi, specifically Riyadh and for a woman consists of shopping, eating out and nothing more…What I do wonder is why on earth NO ONE is thinking of recreation catering to women, its an untouched market. Personally I think a place with arcades, café's, a few select shops, bowling ally, snooker or billiard tables and (long shot) badminton courts, would be heaven. Alas, there is no such thing remotely close to that in Riyadh. I do, also, find it odd that although we have movies (DVD's) in Saudi we don’t have cinemas?!?! Its not even the idea of mixed couples cause they can simply have separate cinemas, in separate locations if need be, and yet we have none.

The solutions to what we find lacking in this country might not be perfect but they are a good start. We have, al7amdillah, resources and we should put them into use, we have smart businessmen and there's nothing more important then improving ones own country. Criticising for the sake of criticism is redundant and without result, criticising in the hope of opening ones eyes to issues that should be brought forward should be welcomed.

20 facts ya didnt know about moi

2006-07-10T21:11:00.000+03:00

Alright here goes…
20 things you probably didn’t know about me,

1) I'm the only member of my family to be born in Saudi (excluding mum and dad)
2) I LOVE dinosaurs. (Jurassic Park freaked me out)
3) Men wearing glasses are hot.
4) Fav cricket team is New Zealand (mmmm Daniel Vettori)
5) Absolutely addicted to cartoons
6) Long hair on men grosses me out (very, very, very few exceptions)
7) Got run down by a HUGE dog in Hyde park (a serious Kodak moment)
8) Got hit by a tennis racket at Wimbledon.
9) Chocolate chip mint ice cream is heaven.
10) Painted England flags on my cheeks when England lost to Argentina in 98 (patriotic thing, yeah I know I'm not English :p)
11) I have dimples on my shoulders…lol mum thought the Doc deformed me.
12) Addicted to Frappuccino's.
13) Had braces when I was 12
14) Fainted when I wore my first 3abaya, was shopping at the time.
15) Finally got to see the Lipizzaner horses (Spanish riding school) when I went to Vienna on honeymoon.
16) Played WD (wing defence) on my schools netball team (useless info I know)
17) Can't swim cause my dad tried to teach me by drowning me (I think it’s a Saudi thing)
18) One of my favourite memories was going to Wales for Eid with a few family friends along, we listen to m7ammad abdu all the way (Another Saudi thing).
19) I lose myself in music and movies.
20) I'm calm…but if you piss me off… STAND BACK looool

Hmm I tag Bored

Friendship...

2006-07-07T18:30:00.000+03:00

Now I'm sure most of you have had several experiences with friends of all sorts, some you've kept, some you haven’t, and some you cherish. It is in interesting when you compare them all… so lets see.

The Name Based Friendship…Now this friendship is a NO NO, what it is, is someone who is your friend because she adores your last name, yes pathetic I know, unfortunately it does happen a lot. Indications of a name based friendship, invitations to a wedding when you've known her less then a week, her saying "I cant believe you socialise with THEM, they're not like us" (them either being, not white or not wealthy) However the culprit is pretty much caught during the first few weeks of friendship… so no worries.

The Mamlaka Friendship…In order to qualify for this you need to be, a) Be super pretty (or think you are). b) Be an expert when it comes to makeup. c) Be able to wear high heels for 3 hours straight while shopping…ouch. Now these gals are not to be messed with, seriously stay away and whatever you do NEVER!!! NEVER!!! Look in their direction, Medusa had nothing on these gals. Now this friendship is pretty much a mystery to me, as an outsider the only thing I observed is that they pretty much look the same (person who was supposed to go to a wedding and was dropped off at Mamlaka by mistake), and they have no qualms about staring you down till you relent and give them your number (either to marry you off to her ass of a brother or to make you her bitch ), freaky.

The Tea Friendship…Now I'm pretty sure all of you have this. You sit your asses down for a marathon of Arabic coffee and tea, where you must sit with your back straight, legs crossed and your nose in the air (optional). Now this friendship is based on gossip… tut tut 3aib I know, but what can I say. The lady-like pretence is there as a camouflage, sshh it’s a secret, this art is learnt early on in life where mothers pass them down to their daughters (aaww how sweet :P ) If you find yourself in a Tea friendship and want to never be asked to come again do one of the following. a) Express an opinion (oh the horror a woman with a brain). b) Keep saying ista'3fur Allah, every time they talk (looool its brilliant). c) Laugh and say "you liar." And brush her aside by talking to someone else.

The College/Uni Friendship…The balance in this group is really important, there are several characteristics that have to be present in this group. The Leader… bossy little thing, will tell the rest of the group what to do, what to wear, were to eat and who to be seen with. The Looker…her only job is to simply look good (is sometimes both the leader and the looker). The Brains…you must have someone who will save your ass if you forget to do an assignment. The Bimbo…an airhead that keeps the group laughing be simply being a klutz. The Shy one… this little thing balances the group out, by simply being sweet (is sometimes also the brain). The Gofer…this Chiquita will bring you all the tid-bits of info in and around the college/uni.

The MSN Friendship…This is basically a friendship that started online (woohoo hey kareem) and is sometimes extended to the "real world". Personally I haven’t tried it yet, and a certain hyper butterfly kinda freaks me out (in a good way luv), but hey you have to try something at least once. Now this friendship, from what I understand, is a delicate one, remember you are no longer typing on a screen, you are talking to a person. So sometimes when meeting them for the first time you'll either be disappointed that she/he isn’t the way you pictured, or you'll be surprised that they are exactly as you pictured.

The Fridge Friendship…I personally love this friendship. This friendship is categorized by the simple fact that your friend makes herself at home by going to your kitchen opening your fridge and then yelling something like "Where the hell is the diet coke." You are VERY LUCKY if you have a fridge friendship, it means endless hours of laughing, movies, pizza and a sorry excuse of singing karaoke style.

Let me know people if I've missed a certain type…:D

UNITED REPUBLIC OF ASH AND BORED PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:What lies beyond the comment room

2006-06-30T17:35:00.000+03:00

SA: Alright so a few of you might know that Bored and I have been promising each other a session "Behind the comment room" for a while now, B: and since SA here decided we should do a double blog post we thought what better subject then the "What If" we met up?! Now I'll point out that is fiction, although most of you will realise that :P still there a few nutcases who will go :O on us. We suggest you not let your kids read this :P and just have fun, your meant to enjoy nothing more. You can leave comments on either blogs…

"Yoohoo? Bored where are you?" looks around but finds no one, "Ya Kareem wainak?" Sweet Anger walks around the corner of the comment room and enters the area behind it, its shadowed, secluded and empty, perfect she thought, just perfect.
"Does that mouth of yours ever stop working?" hearing him she turns and sees him leaning against the border of the comment room, she smiled lifts an eyebrow and replies,
"I have boundless energy, what can I say?" Sweet Anger looks around the room again before turning back to look at Bored, "not bad," she sizes him up, looks at him from head to toe, "for a Saudi guy I mean." Bored, wearing snug grey/black jeans and a blue shirt, pushes himself off the wall, walks to Sweet Anger, looks long enough to have Sweet Anger say, "Would you like me to twirl for you luv?"
"No, no I can manage." And he proceeds to walk around her, taking in the blue jeans and black top, he twirls a strand of her hair, a slightly lighter colour then her top. She slapped his hand away, which brought a smile to his lips
"I've seen better." Eyes him suspiciously and hisses out,
"I just bet you have." Sweet Anger places hands on hips which are cocked to one side and asks "Well what now Kareem?"
"I take it your not running away with me." smiles knowingly
"And let you break your groupie's hearts, of course not." She placed a hand over her heart and sighed.
"Let 'em break, we'll have fun I promise you."
"Sweetheart I don’t doubt it, but no."
"Well why are you here then?"
"What else, mano a mano remember?"
"You want to fight me?"
"Aha."
"Me?"
"I don’t see anyone else here."
"I don’t hit women." Taps her foot impatiently.
"You're telling me hitting me is out of the question but stabbing me or slitting my throat is perfectly fine?"
"Aha."
"You have a twisted mind bored." Bored smiles wickedly.
"Yes I do."
"Good thing I came prepared then."
"Mhmm."
"You can wipe that silly smile off bored, that wasn’t meant as a double entendre."
"A what?"
"And he says I'm slow, look it up in a dictionary IF you get home."
"Confident aren’t you?"
"Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t." walks to bored who in turn does the same, "Alright sweetheart lets get this over with." Pulls out a pair of Sai's (it’s the fork looking thing that was used in the movie Elektra) "Go on luv, I showed you mine, now you show me yours." Twirls the Sai's waiting for Bored. Bored reaches behind him and pulls out two samurai swords (katana) Sweet Anger looks at bored, absolutely gob-smacked, and then throws her Sai's to the ground before screaming, "Damn it, Damn it, Damn it to hell and back bored that’s not fair!!!"
"What? You said we could choose any weapon?!?!"
"A fucking samurai sword? Are you just plain daft? Why don’t I just give you my head on a platter?!"
"Hey there's nothing wrong with being ingenious when it comes to choices in weapons."
"Ingenious my arse, I bet you saw Kill Bill and thought why the hell not." Flicks her hair over her shoulders, "Aaaaannd samurai swords don’t come in pairs." Bored looks at Sweet Anger blinks twice before aiming a sword at the fallen Sai's. "They come in pairs!"
"How convenient." Bored replies sarcastically
"Fine." Walks towards Bored and places an epee in his hand (long thin sword they use in fencing) "We'll go French." Bored beams in anticipation.
"Yeah?" he says, Sweet Anger laughs before saying,
"Guess again hun." Walks away from Bored, takes her position and aims the epee at bored, "The edges aren’t blunt and no padding."
"And this is your idea of fun?"
"This is my idea of fair. On-guard!" Bored quickly took the same position and advanced forward, the epee's clashed, the sounds of the swords slicing through the air could be heard. Their swords meshed and held, looking at each other swords crossed between them and their breathing shallow and rapid, bored said,
"It would have been a hell of a lot easier if you just gave up and slept with me."
"Huh, I'm not another notch on your belt hun not if I can help it."
"You see that’s the thing it's inevitable, you want it I want it."
"What I want is to see you bleed." They moved apart, and only when she heard his groan of pain did she realise she struck him, pulling the epee out of his shoulder she felt slightly queasy. She debated it for a second before moving to bored, and just as she was about to speak he lashed out and struck her, with the epee, across her abdomen, tearing her t shirt and scratching her skin. She gasped and was gazing down, when he laughed, actually laughed !!!
"You should see the look on your face, did you think you were immortal or something Sweet?" In less then 3 seconds he was flat on his back with her healed boot against his throat, Sweet Anger standing over him.
"You ruined my shirt." She lifted her shirt and looked at the scratch just missing her bellybutton, "If this scars I will kill you." She looked at him, pressed her boot harder and continued, "I'm debating if I should just do it now and get it over…" before the last word was out, he twisted her boot, unbalanced her and had her landing hard on her ass with the breath knocked out of her, just as she was getting air back into her lungs he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pinned her down with his body.
"You stab me in my shoulder and your worried about you shirt!?!?!" she tried to kick him, knee him in the groin anything but he stubbornly held her still, "You see now I have to play dirty." And with that, just that, he kissed her. She bit down on her lip, he was not going to kiss her just to pay her back. Just as she thought he was going to relent he pinches her on her ass, enraged she opens her mouth to yell at him only to have him push his tongue inside, and with that she lost…

It was their own private battle, he tilted his head first to one side then the next, her hands meandered their way to his face, her fingers to his hair. She gave in for a moment and kissed him back, heard him moan, and bit his lower lip hard. "Son of a bi…"
"Uh, uh, uh 3aib." Sweet Anger moved away from Bored who was nursing his lip, getting up she straightened herself pulled her fingers through her hair a few times before she was non too gently pushed against the wall. She kept her hands on his chest keeping his body from touching hers, looking up at him she said, "You know for a guy who doesn’t like hurting women you're doing a hell of a job."
"I have to admit Sweet you do push the right buttons." He circled her wrists with both hands but didn’t try to move them.
"You do realise you're not playing fair?"
"Screw the rules darling, this is just you and me now." He leaned in to kiss her, which had her turning her head, and him meeting cheek, not to be deterred, he traced light butterfly kisses from cheek to ear and had the satisfaction of seeing goose bumps spread over her arms. He let go of her wrists to prove to himself that she wouldn’t push him away. She didn’t, not when he playfully nipped her ear, not when she felt his tongue on her skin just below her ear, and not when his hands went to her back slid down and rested on her derriere. There was initially only one thing to do now in Sweet Angers opinion, throwing caution aside she lifted her hands to the top button of his shirt and proceeded to undo his buttons. Her hands shook slightly and when all the buttons were undone she didn’t dare touch him, he took her hands and smiled placed them on either side of his waist inside his open shirt. Lifting her chin he said, "I thought you didn’t scare easily." A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
"Found my Achilles heel haven’t we then."

to continue go to Bored's blog

Comfort in ones self

2006-06-24T01:20:00.000+03:00

Look at yourself. Really look at yourself for a moment.
What makes you who you are? Your upbringing? Your Education?
Where are you in life? Have you achieved your goals? Are you on your way to them? Or have you lost them?
When you were a child, is this where you pictured yourself?
Are you in a better or worse situation? Is there a part of you that you miss?
Is something in you lost? Do you know how to get it back? Or do you want to leave it alone?

Do you like who you are?
Do you really?

Is there joy in your life? Happiness? Are you going to do something about it?
Is there pride in what you do? Is there pride in who you are?
Are you generous? Kind? Empathetic?
Are you cold? Envious? Cynical?
Do you judge? Do you walk blindly? Do you stand for yourself and your beliefs?
Do you trust yourself? Do you trust others?
Have you learnt from your mistakes? Do you not care if you make any?

Do you like who you are?
Do you really?

Would you be friends with a person like you? Do you feel loved by others?
Are you perfect? Are you flawed? Which do you prefer to be?
Are you wise? Are you patient? Can you love without conditions?
What's important to you? What makes you unique?
Are you worthy of being a role model for others? Is anyone?
Do you make life pleasurable for yourself? Are you satisfied?

Look at yourself. Really look at yourself for a moment, now breathe…
There is no wrong or right answer life is filled with questions but answer this…

Do you like who you are?
Do you really?

Die hard fan

2006-06-17T04:14:00.001+03:00

It's England V Trinidad...
There are only 10 minuets till the whistle blows, England need this win to ensure a place in the final 16....

It's Beckhams cross

CROUCH!!!!

GOAL!!! ENGLAND HAVE IT!!!
the fans must be going wild!!!

(ahem this is Lujanes version of a victory lap)

Life is not shitty

2006-06-14T06:07:00.000+03:00

Life is not shitty

I haven’t been blogging long but I do sense that what most people do is complain, that is perfectly fine but once in a while I come across a blog that is so depressing so heart wrenching the only thing I can say is just "My God, Why?"

Why are you so sad?
Why are you so lost?
Why do you make things so complicated?

I've read blogs where people complain about how depressing this country is, how backwards it is. Now I'm not saying this country is perfect, there is no perfect country but what people want is more freedom, fine but what does that mean to you?

Is it not wearing your 3abaya? That’s not an issue for Saudi that’s a religious issue.
Is it that women are oppressed? I don’t believe that, I'm a woman I live in Saudi I don’t feel oppressed, yes maybe I'm luckier then most but the way some people talk its like their hands and feet are bound and are thrown in a dungeon?!?!
Does freedom mean that you get to have frivolous affairs where you're so "forward" and "advanced" you have sex before marriage? That has nothing to do with Saudi that’s a religious issue and a moral one for people lacking in self-esteem.
Does freedom mean driving for women? Loooool that is a joke, do you know why Saudi hasn’t allowed it yet? Have you people been paying attention to how crappy traffic is in Saudi? You think adding a few more hundred thousand drivers will make it easier?!?! I assure you and I firmly believe this, when Saudi fixes its roads women will drive.
Does freedom mean doing drugs, drinking? Again I point out that it is a religious issue and not a Saudi one.
Does freedom mean you're parents or guardians will let you go to wherever you want at whatever time and without you having to ask permission? Now your just deluding yourself, if they did that you'd only start complaining about them not loving you enough to ask about you…

My point is stop pitying yourself, I'm all for creative writing but this is ridiculous. Having said that I know there are a select few who truly are depressed and really do need help and a way to vent their frustration, and its humbling to realise how lucky you are when reading it. Back to my point, If you feel so lost sweetheart open the Qur'an and read for a bit, stop holding onto your anger just let it go…
Being a martyr will do you nothing, look at the bright side of life, don’t say there isn’t and don’t act childish by ignoring me as if you've put your fingers in your ears.

Just let it go.

Its not worth it.

Please, I'd like to remind you this is not life, this is a test, it may seem long but it isn’t and we'll all see that eventually. We might die today, over the next 50 years, or longer the way we react to what we face is important. You think I have no idea what you're feeling? Your wrong, you think I've never felt claustrophobic even when I was outside? Your wrong. You think I've never simply cried for the hell of it, because I felt nothing? You're wrong. You think I never begged my parents to just go back, to leave? You're wrong. I chose to stop hiding, I chose to stop hitting my head against the wall, I chose to accept and be careful not to confuse that with giving up, they're two different things. I chose to accept my life, my country, my religion, and what god had given me to face, this is my test and I intend to pass it. As painful as it was I wanted to get on with my life, to get out of the rut I was in and I'm trying to say that that’s what you should do too. If you want to play the blame game fine be petty but remember your pointing to the wrong "culprit" you don’t have issues with Saudi you have issues with Islam. And sweetie if you have issues with Islam, your either have not been taught well or you simply are too lazy to stick to its principals. Its takes a moron to break them and a strong soul to hold on to them.

Sing with me people

2006-06-13T01:56:00.000+03:00

Rule Britannia (with pronuciation singing guide)

When Britain first, at heaven's command,

Aro-o-o-ose from out the a-a-a-zure main,

Arose, arose, arose from out the a-azure main,

This was the charter, the charter of the land,

And guardian A-a-angels sang this strain:

Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

The nations, no-o-o-o-ot so blest as thee,

Must i-i-i-i-in their turn, to ty-y--yrants fall,

Must in ,must in, must in their turn,

to ty-y-rants fall,While thou shalt flourish,

shalt flourish great and free,

The dread and e-e-e-e-nvy of them all.

(Chorus)Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

Rule Britannia!Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

and the ever favorite

We still believe

It's coming home

It's coming

Football's coming home

It's coming home

It's coming

Football's coming home

Tears for heroes dressed in grey

No plans for final day

Stay in bed, drift away

It could have been all

Songs in the street

It was nearly complete

It was nearly so sweet

And now I'm singing

Three lions on a shirt

Jules Rimet still gleaming

No more years of hurt

No more need for dreaming

Talk about football coming home

And then one night in Rome

We were strong, we had grown

And now I see Ince ready for war

Gazza good as before

Shearer certain to score

And Psycho screaming

Three lions on a shirt

Jules Rimet still gleaming

No more years of hurt

No more need for dreaming

(Beautiful football by England, Gazza oh that is majestic, Alan Shearer, Italy nil England nil and we're there in France 1998)

We can dance

Nobby's dance

We could dance it in France

It's coming home

It's coming

Football's coming home

It's coming home

It's coming

Football's coming home

It's coming home

It's coming

Football's coming home

It's coming home

It's coming

Football's coming home

Three lions on a shirt

Jules Rimet still gleaming

No more years of hurt

No more need for dreaming..

suggestions on posting other England songs would be appreciated :D

whats your colour :D

2006-06-12T18:57:00.000+03:00

i thought i'd give this a shot, saw it on Jo's blog and thought what the hell why not :D

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest:
You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.
At Your Lowest:
You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.
In Love:
You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.
How You're Attractive:
Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.
Your Eternal Question:
"What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

people see where it says at your lowest... now look up to where it says sweet anger and read whats under it ... thats just freaky. UPDATE i thought it would be interesting to see how others would answer the colour thingy in retrospect to me (laymans term, my sister answered the questionnaire for me), so i asked my sis LoLo to do one for me and the result is...

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest:
You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you.
At Your Lowest:
You require a lot of attention and praise.
In Love:
You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.
How You're Attractive:
You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.
Your Eternal Question:
"Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's" Your Power Color?

Thats Me... Just Ash

2006-06-08T05:56:00.000+03:00

I'm really not in the mood to think, my brain has kinda gone blank, yeah it happens I know, so I'll just write a little about me (that’s the only warning you will get) I'm a stubborn, head strong woman, anyone who knows me will agree, its my way or I just get pissed, I'm trying to change that certain aspect but it takes time. I'm not rash, but when I make my mind up that’s it, period. I don’t judge people instantly, sometimes I'm blunt but only when I think they're no use beating about the bush. I don’t have to speak to get my point across, my face is too expressive to hide my feelings. People do think I'm stuck up, but that’s just a front it’s a wall I built (Don’t know when don’t know how but its there), if people take the time to look closer they'll see me, I don’t hide. My friends think I'm sweet, my best friends think I'm great, and my soul mate loves me, and I'm grateful for all.

I love my country but I also love my home, one is not the other, and I'm fine with dividing my loyalties. One holds my history, my ancestors, my family, my blood. The other made me what I am.

I loved my life in London, I loved my school, I loved my teachers, I love my friends. There was no superior nationality, no superior class, we were friends with all. My best friends were Pakistani and Saudi-Dutch, I have to admit I didn’t hang out with the typical Saudi girls, they were simply class-mates. Hiding in the bathroom stalls to call up guys wasn’t my idea of fun, now football that’s fun, PE was fun, changing quickly so I could go chat with Richard and Andy that was fun (they were the schools security guards, bless 'em I still got the Barca shirt they gave me as a going away present *sniff sniff*) I liked going to the National History Museum, went 5 or 6 times enough to convince me I wanted to be an archaeologist, and got my dad worried enough to tell me I couldn’t. I liked hanging out at Whiteleys, ignored the khaliji's there, and if they tried to get into my way a simple look or just the cold shoulder would have them backing off. Unwanted attention is simply that UNWANTED. I have good memories about my life in London, going to Wimbledon and watching Andre Agassi play (note: A tennis racket to the ribs really does hurt!!). Watching Saudi draw with England at Wembley. Going to a few Backstreet Boys concerts (I was 15 what did you expect?!?!). Watching Copacabana, it was wonderful, and we had great seats. Sneaking into "Jerry McGuire" when I was 13 (It was rated 15) by my brother who desperately wanted to see the movie. But that is in the past…

It wasn’t easy adjusting in Saudi, I barely spoke Arabic fluently, for most of the words I had to use a pathetic version of sign language to get my message across. The depression, which is inevitable, lasted a year. After a minor operation (you don’t need to know what for so don’t bother asking) and an unexplained case of chicken pox (I'd already had it when I was a kid, still don’t know why I had it the second time) I was accepted into college (English Literature) only after passing their silly exam. Two weeks into college I knew I wanted out, but I stayed because my dad wanted me to. After the year and failing in two Arabic subjects that were meant to be easy, I told my parents I wasn’t going back. I went for 1 day when my mum said to try the second year (It was bound to be easier she said) and I came back home crying, it was a living hell. The only good thing was meeting two amazing women that were worth the torture of college.

Light at the end of the tunnel… My husband, my little girl.

I liked my husband, before I loved him. He was a brother to my own, spoilt me when I was just a brat, badgered me about England being crap and that there was no one better then Italy (ugh pah-lease). Anyway the subtle changes eventually happened, I wasn’t a kid anymore nor was I an adult, I was 16 and he was 22 and I had finally come to stay. I gave him my e-mail, told him not to even think about calling me just to e-mail or chat with me. I pushed, I prodded, I poked and he tolerated LOOOOL poor man. I was 18 when it shocked me (pleasantly I should add) to realise it was him or nothing, people were asking about me (after all 18 isn't too young to get married :P) usually my parents just said no, but one got by and they actually suggested it. I married for love, and I'm lucky in that al7amdulillah, a month after my 19th birthday I was a wife to a great man. Three years after that a mother to a beautiful baby…

It isn’t exactly where I thought I'd be at 23 but hey it works for me and I wouldn’t change it for the world. That’s me… just Ash

AAA555MMEEDD!!

2006-06-07T04:34:00.000+03:00

ok this post is dedicated to my pal, buddy, friend Ahmed (Saudi Jeans, and yeah you kinda detect a hint of sarcasm) let me tell you why...

It started hmm over 3 months ago, when i first came across Saudi Blogs, you see Ahmed, bless his heart, is the aggregator, that is the head honcho, the boss... as a Saudi blogger i asked to be added, simple enough, a few days later i get an e-mail from ahmed, bless his soul, that asks me to send him my blog add and name, and i do. it is now June and i havent been added...

my pal blackorchid has been added
me?? uh uh
my buddy Mochness has been added
me?? uh uh

AAAAA555555mmmmeeeeedddddd!!!!!!

for crying out loud i am not asking much am i?? i am Saudi...I have a blog...i've asked to be added... so whats up buddy, pal, friend of mine??? hmmm???

i am willing to give the benefit of the doubt, and i do concede that when i want something i'm extremely impatient, so ahmed, luv, add me

NOW!!!

PS i have to point out that Ahmed (to my knowledge) does not read my blog, i'd appreciate someone nudging him over here :D

Shut up and CPR me

2006-05-30T16:01:00.000+03:00

So when I was in the KFA (my school in London) I took a first aid course, nothing fancy but I thought it would be a good idea. Anyway I haven’t had to put it into use thank god, but I wonder if I ever will and then I wondered if I should after all this isn’t London. More then likely if an incident occurred and I did try to help someone be it female or male I'd end up the newest Bluetooth edition. So I go to my husband, seeing as I'm lacking in religious knowledge, and ask him if it was alright for a woman to perform first aid on a man be it CPR or not. He said "NO!" and to be honest I wasn’t expecting it so bluntly, so I asked why and cutting away and the chauvinistic crap he pointed out that if he did the same to a woman lord knows what would happen. So I asked if it was a woman and I preformed first aid on her would it be ok? He said yes as expected, I pointed out to him that if lip locking with a man means it would have something to with my libido wouldn’t it mean the same with a woman? He laughed. What I don’t understand is doctors of both sexes are allowed to treat either sex, in an incident when someone depends on help that only you can give wouldn’t that give you the right to help?? It has nothing to do with being male or female, the last thing I'd want to do is press lips to a guy who I don’t even know (and people first aid does not mean CPR its more then that), but I cant help thinking that he has a family, friends, people who depend on him and I cant help because I'm the opposite sex I'm supposed to just let him suffer?!?!

I really want to know if I can't help, am I or am I not allowed and if not I want to know what the 7ikma is, and I'd appreciate anyone's opinion on this.
Oh by the way I asked my husband (after reading jo's post) that in the future if he saw his boy talking on his mobile and ever so discreetly kept leaving the room every time it rang, and then his saw his girl do the same thing, which would he go after? He said both (such a sweety) and that he'd be harsher on the boy, since the male carry's his faults into the home (something like that)…

SOLD!!!

2006-05-25T04:15:00.000+03:00

Ash: "Ladies and gentlemen welcome to today's auction. We will be parading Riyadh's finest ladies of the summer of 2006."

Lolo: "It is a wonderfully hot day with the temperature reaching 53 C and being announced as only 47 C. The elite families are taking their places in the rows of chairs courtesy of Abdul La6ayif furnishings."

Ash: "This is Ash and my sister Lolo bringing to you live today's event."

Lolo: "To recap over what will happen in today's auction, we have three prospective brides all from the Riyadh area and of different ages to suit the taste of their potential grooms."

Ash: "Today is the last day of the auction and it is expected to be spectacular. The last remaining trio are expected to hit the hundreds of thousands and it looks as though a few of the men have been waiting for this day alone."

Lolo: "Ah there's one now, Mr Old Pot Bellied Bearded Man, yes he's been eyeing some of the girls but apparently has decided to pull out all the stops on wife number 4.

Ash: "Oh yes and there's The Playboy Buck, rumour is his mum wants grandchildren and is sick of waiting."

Lolo: "Oh lord he is a looker."

Ash: "Are you daft woman, he's pretty much HAD half the girls in Riyadh, and anyway it's more to do with his money then his looks."

Lolo: "Oh my… look at his uh… package."

Ash: *covers her sisters eyes* "Woman I will wash your eyes out with soap, pay attention, but I do agree he is ahem… impressive."

Lolo: "Oh my goodness a late arrival its non other then Mama's Little Brat, oh this is going to be quite a show!"

Ash: "After his fifth divorce no one expected him to bounce back so soon, must be quite resilient at 21.

Lolo: "They're taking there seats, Hook Nosed Bedwin is sitting in the front row with Gay & Doesn’t Know It as the auction begins."

Auctioneer "Gentlemen without further a due our first bride."

Ash: "A tall box like shape is being rolled forward into centre stage covered in a deep burgundy fabric,"

Lolo: "If you want to say dark red just say dark red, ugh burgundy where the hell do you get…"

Ash: "Shut up, the fabric is pulled aside and the room buzzes with anticipation. Ah yes, this specimen is quite exquisite dark wavy hair not too long, aristocratic nose mmhhmm yes good, 5ft 4inch. Good height…"

Lolo: "If you tell me to shut up one more time…"

Ash: "Zip it, her eyes aren’t big but the deep honey colouring is a plus."

Lolo: "Deep Honey, HA! If ya wanna say light brown just say it!!!"

Ash: "I'd say her age is no higher the 19, Ssshhh the auctioneer is about to say something."

Auctioneer: "Miss Shut The F**K Up Or My Daddy Will Kill You is an English lit major failing only twice during her two years at college, her only language is Arabic. Her passions are spending loads of money and not caring what for. She is due to inherit her fathers billions and has only one other sibling, she is shallow more so then she is beautiful and doesn’t give anyone the time of day except her gold visa's, she has no ambition what-so-ever."

Lolo: "Oh yeah those are some achievements she's got there. OH MY GOD I do believe Gay & Doesn’t Know It has dollar signs over his eyes."

Auctioneer: "We'll start the bid at 50,000 do I have 50,000?"

Ash: "Oh look The Playboy Buck might put in a bid his mother is elbowing him to do so. Must be the lineage…"

Lolo: "Lineage my a…"

Ash: "Language!"

Auctioneer: " I have 50,000 from the Hook Nosed Bedwin up front do I hear 60,000, a fine specimen of Riyadh high society, 60,000 to Gay and Doesn’t know it…"

Lolo: "Wouldn’t it be wicked it they forgot to put holes in the box and she'd end up suffocating?!"

Ash: "Your imagination just runs wild doesn’t it."

Auctioneer: "250,000 from The Playboy Buck."

Mr Old Pot Bellied Bearded Man: "500,000!"

Ash & Lolo: "EEEEEWWWWEEEEE."

Auctioneer: "250,000 going once… going twice… SOLD to Mr Old Pot Bellied Bearded Man."

Ash: "That is just sick!"

Lolo: "He's way past 70 can he even get it…"

Ash: "I swear you finish that sentence I will smack you silly."

Auctioneer: "Our next bride,"

Ash: "Oh here she comes…"

Lolo: "You say burgundy again I'm smacking YOU with this mike."

Ash: "Uh uh respect your elders woman I'm older then you by four years, anyway, they've just revealed the bride, oh my she is quite breathtaking, oh wait oh god. The woman has actually fainted."

Lolo: "I knew it someone forgot to put holes in."

Ash: "Oh The Playboy Buck is up and going towards her, OOOHHHH she's… acquainted with him, oh look his mother is actually pulling at his ear."

Lolo: "She'd better whip his ass or better yet let me do it."

Ash: "Hormones, ugh. They're taking her off stage and both the Playboy Buck and his mother are going along. Well I guess it's safe to say auction or no auction he's just snagged himself a bride. Oh wait I'm getting news from my headset…"

Lolo: "Sure its not the voices in your head."

Ash: "The rest of the auction is cancelled, apparently the last bride has backed out."

Lolo: "Playboy got to her too?"

Ash: "Uh no actually, she's well…uh she prefers her own sex."

Lolo: "What you mean, she likes to play it solo?"

Ash: "Don’t be crude. I mean she's a lesbian."

Lolo: "Get up, Get Up, GET UP."

Ash: "What?! Will you stop pulling me."

Lolo: "Bedwin on the rampage."

Ash: "OH CRAP The Hook Nosed Bedwin got out his whats it called?"

Lolo: "5anjar."

Ash: "Rights, so whats a 5aizaranah?"

Lolo: "Not now, just move will you."

Pride, Honor and Dignity

2006-05-20T20:20:00.000+03:00

It came as a swift shock to realize the extent of fornication that has overrun this country. It infuriates me at how blasé people are to this issue as if it is no big deal. I've tried to not let it bother me but I cant seem to help it, this is my country for gods sake, this is where my kid is growing up and its meant to be safe. I know there is no reason or excuse that I can accept for such disgusting behaviors and yet I find myself wondering why it happens? I've always held my country men in the highest regard, as the epitome of what it is to be a man. All of that came crashing down when I came home, yes my bubble burst and I SAW the state of my people. However my disgust is not solely reserved for the male population it is shared if not concentrated to the female population my fellow, as it were, women who let themselves be used and discarded. A woman who allows herself to be used in a degrading manner convincing herself that it is her choice that this is what she wants. The lack of PRIDE, HONOR and DIGNITY is astonishing, the lack of parental guidance is unbelievable, I simply cannot comprehend it. Some have the gall to say "well if men do why cant we" don’t give me that hypocritical bull. Who in Gods name said it was perfectly fine for men to do it?!?!

Men push their conscious aside and think only with their d**ks it's not an excuse and idiots, who should not even be called men, do it. Men demand virgins and rightly so IF he is worthy of one i.e. he is one himself. Men who play around will get their time in hell and more then likely a wife just like him. It is narcissistic to think a womanizer deserves a virgin. Having said that I'm pretty sure any man who reads this blog will simply laugh it off and by all means do so.

When your sister gets screwed by all means do so.

When your mum gets screwed by all means do so.

When you find out on your wedding night that your precious wife has been with another man and perhaps others, be all means do so.

When you find out that your little girl is no longer innocent by all means do so.
Laugh till you cry.

After all to hell with the world and everyone in it. Justice is swift and God is closer to you then your jugular vein, you take something that is not yours and the same will happen to a loved one and I assure you it WILL happen.

To all of you who know what morals are and what being a Muslim is, you have a right to criticise so stop twiddling your finger and make yourself heard. When a colleague brags about his latest conquest tell him to shut up and stop bragging about f***ing his sister. When a school friend tells how she finally went all the way with her beloved boyfriend ask her how it felt to spread her legs for her brother.

I'm not being crude I'm being honestly blunt, if you hate me for it good 'cause I hate you right back. You think I'm making this up read the Qur'an once in a while. You want to repent and stop then pray 5 times a day it's that simple.

I ask that you be serious and think about it before you comment. dont hide behind an anonymous...

Female of the Species

2006-05-18T05:32:00.000+03:00

You'll need to keep up with me people,

I honestly find Saudis fascinating people and more specifically women of this fine country.

DRAMA is essential to life here, if you don’t have drama then you're not Saudi and I'm not being cynical here but it is something I've noticed. Backstabbing happens ssoooo often you don’t even notice it as being a BAD thing, and people are so hypocritical you often find yourself struggling to contain your laughter.

HISTORY, I love listening to my aunts tell how it was when they were younger, its hilarious. Like one of my aunts got shot in the head , she's not dead by the way. Another put a baby (I'm talking weeks old) up a tree cause they wouldn’t let her play with it. How they (my aunts) locked my mum outside in the middle of the night so that "They" would come get her. Not sure who "They" were. I would like to point out that we are NOT savages.

THE MATING RITUAL, so apparently the whole idea of dancing at weddings is to be paraded in front of potential mothers-in-law. I've been to different types of weddings and I found it interesting and unexpected how quick people are to snatch up a prospective bride. Its also apparent that if a woman crooks her finger or nods you must obey that silent command and go to the woman (hmm). Its also NOT rude to stare, and I must specify that it includes any part of your anatomy. (( for gods sakes if you wanna know if they're real grab 'em and get it out of your system but stop staring!!!)) sorry…

FUN FAIRS, if you can even call them that. Social gatherings for the young where "The pack" are displayed and what I mean by that is it’s a popularity contest where the girls are saying "oh look how cool I am". The coolest girls have the largest group and loudest laughs :P… I went a while back with a friend and the last thing I expected was my friend to lean over and say "Ash that girl is SO checking your ass out." Still can't get over the whole "I like girls but I'm not a lesbian" thing.

COLLEGE AND UNI, so it was only a year that I spent in college (another 3 years of hell wasn’t worth the degree) but it was weird. Two kinds of cool that I noticed. The woke up at 5am to do my hair and my face and the scrubbed myself clean till I look like a zombie, and no I honestly didn’t think either was cool but that’s just me :P Anyway there would also be the newly married girls, I swear to god they had specific college clothes for them. You have to DO your hair, I'm talking 5inches above your head kinda thing, and you skirt had to have a minimum 3inch tail to gracefully sweep the floor of all its filth.

Ah women so… diverse.

6 6 6

2006-05-15T19:40:00.000+03:00

different perspectives are very interesting,

apparently the 6th of June 2006 is a BAD, EVIL, APOCALYPTIC day ( and no i'm not making fun) the dreaded 666 has actually got people panicking. There are some expectant mothers who are desperatly trying to avoid the day, I actually like the idea of being born on Friday the 13th, but thats just me.

Back to my point, 666 in Saudi is a coveted number for licence plates, since it loosly translates to the word "women" many ahem boys :P (giving saudi men a break here) see it as a great accessary for their cars.

The wonders of differfent cultures.

Oh oh that remindes the other day i was with my husband and this car drove infront of us and we both burst out laughing, the cars licence plate was

6 6 6 s s k

anyone who speaks arabic will understand why, i honestly did not think they would print out this specific licence plate...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

2006-05-13T16:37:00.000+03:00

aaahh the 13th of May a blessed day indeed, yes people its my birthday this is the beginning of the final year where i am still in my early twenties **23**

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my mum mmmwwwaaaa7777 i love you!!

i bugged you for 9 months and bugged you for another 23 years, and i vow to keep on bugging you just to show how much i appreciate you :D

The Missing Kidney

2006-05-13T03:39:00.000+03:00

"Your aunt had an x-ray." My mum.

"Is that so…?" Moi

"She's missing a kidney."

Choke back shocked laughter, cause Pepsi to fizz to your nose, "Come again?"

"They couldn’t find one of her kidneys."

A little laugh escaped, "You telling me when they sucked out the fat (liposuction) they sucked out her kidney?"

"I dunno, its just not there."

"Gone?"

"Picture is fuzzy, the other kidney is clear."

Snorted laugh escapes, "I'm sorry," giggles, "Your telling me if someone goes in for lipo. they end up missing a kidney! She better take another look then sue their asses."

"Like that happens in Saudi."

"Why the hell not, they took out an organ and what? Get away with it?!"

Now just so you know this was a recent conversation with my mum, as for the missing kidney I will have to get back to you on that as soon as info is available.

Kids you gotta love 'em

2006-05-13T03:17:00.000+03:00

So after I graduated I decided to take some time off before starting a career of any sort, a friend of mine suggested I try teaching (not for the faint hearted). Low and behold, assuming my friend knew what she was saying, I applied at one of the private schools in Riyadh, signed the contract and got elbow deep in kids. Not having a clue as to what school is like in Saudi I had entered no mans land with stars in my eyes. A month and a half later I quit.

Yes, rash I know, but that’s just me I always follow my gut.

Anyway before I left, although my actions speak differently, I fell in love with those little guys. My students were between 5 and 6 but each one of them was adorable in their own way. Now, the fact that none of them spoke English (I was an English teacher) was a bit difficult but kids are very smart at that age and they understood well enough. My point is you could see how different they were at such a tender age, one kid was obviously in love with an older brother, he strutted around with his eminem cap and huge rings on both hands. Another was such a gentleman I fell a little in love with him, mashallah I think it was parental influence in his case. The girls were different from the boys, instantly forming groups and giggling as girls do best. One of them kept on hugging my legs telling me she loved me, yeah she was a kiss-up but she was a little angel too. My little stint in teaching taught me how to appreciate kids, just the way they enjoy the little things that we take for granted. Getting glitter on your finger tips, paint on your nose or sand in your shoes they just laugh cause what's the point of doing otherwise. A word of advice don’t talk down to kids, talk to them like little adults they really do appreciate it.

PS. I also want to point out is that teachers are not appreciated enough, they take care of hour kids for at least 5 hours a day and form first hand experience it is exhausting.

As a solemn vow I promise that I will no longer teach and bore children to death with anything I say. I think teaching is a huge responsibility, teachers directly or indirectly mold our little kids minds it’s the foundation and its important. It scared me a little that I would have a hand in that and I didn’t think I would do them justice, and I left for that reason and a few more. Selfish of me yes, but I do think it was for the best. Still I wish those kids and all the others the best and I hope someone takes good care of them. Teaching is just not for me. Pleeeeaaaasssseeee love your children with everything you have and take care of them.

Football the beautiful game

2006-05-06T17:55:00.000+03:00

So the football is a month away and I can't wait, the tension, the cheering, ugh! It is a beautiful game. Now Saudi is in the world cup and thank god, but it is being very much abused by the ART, pretty much everyone knows that they have the rights for broadcasting the World Cup. But why is it monopolized so unabashedly? One thousand eight hundred for a month?! They are blatantly USING the world cup! This should be a family event, a celebration of football they should be putting packages that are REASONABLE to the average Saudi. What I would like to point out is that in '98 when I was in London the world cup was available on regular TV and I presume that was the same around the world, so why is it different now? What I'm trying to say is that ART is pushing it to the limit and nobody seems to be stopping them, seriously what stops them from making it 3 thousand!!! Why? Are we so gullible that we'd pay anything? Think about it for a sec, the same amount as one month to ART gets you a whole year with Showtime.

Oh I miss Sky Sports, simply perfect in everyway, and just for the record I support England except when and if they play against Saudi.

Oh on another point, why is it I've hardly met any woman who loves football, I don’t meant supporting Saudi, no I mean really like football as in screaming curses at the ump and throwing popcorn at the TV. Oh hey if anyone knows where I can get the official England shirt and Newcastle United shirt in Riyadh that would be great.

OH LAY OH LAY OH LAY OH LAY OOH LAY OOH LAY.!!!!

Six years and counting

2006-04-17T05:01:00.000+03:00

So its now six years and counting since I came back to Saudi and I must say it has been a big disappointment. College sucked period. Come on! The first three years are stuff I'd already taken in London when I was in high school, and the fourth year was primarily all in Arabic. Add the fact that you fail every year because of the 4 Arabic subjects they force down your throat. That the teachers will fail anyone smarter then them. That most of the friends you make will either like you because you can help them with homework, or because of your last name. Its just insane and not worth it, well not for me anyway.

As for living in Riyadh, the only thing people do for fun is shop, eat, or sit at home watching TV?! Oh people come on, you're telling me no one thought of something recreational for women? There is no where to go bowling, no place to play snooker and hardly anyone knows what badminton is. Now don’t get me wrong I love my country and this city, but it has a lot to improve on, and its bursting with potential. It still feels weird though, sometimes you feel like you just don’t fit in, I mean my friends in London have moved on and rightly so. I love them I do, but I'm no longer a part of them, and it is sad but its true. Then I look at my family, cousins the same age but there's no click, I miss intellectual conversation.

The language barrier is also difficult, I've met only one person who is fluent in English. I'm working on my Arabic but it does take time and no matter what it'll always be my second language. Getting married and starting a family has helped me adjust, actually it's helped a lot, my husband is a good man and my little girl is adorable masha'allah. Well actually now that I think about it, moving here isn’t so bad, still time will tell and things always improve.